So I went to town this morning on the regular Monday water run. I get my drinking water at a big filtering machine plugged into the town’s tap water – I take their word for the filtering, but this water is not as flavorful as our well water so it’s doing something.
This particular morning was quite unusual in that no sooner had I walked into the store than I was approached by a very attractive woman who a) asked where I thought she might find some mosquito repellent and b) wanted to stay and talk. And in the course of the one-sided conversation I learned that she was one of five chaperones to 16 nubile maidens who are camping [somewhere, I confess my mind wandered] for the week to ride ponies.
Look, I’ve been utterly faithful to what amounts to a vow of chastity taken 18 years ago – since summer 1999 I haven’t so much as dated a woman. Mostly, of course, the … equivalent of a vow … has been easy to keep for utter lack of opportunities to break it. Even when I wasn’t a frickin’ hermit in the frickin’ desert, I was rarely described as a babe magnet*. I am and have been for 18 years utterly and happily celibate. And here’s this very attractive woman half my age chattering on and on about…
eight-score young blonds and brunettes, all between 16 and 19 1/2, cut off in this wilderness with no one to protect us. Oooh, it is a lonely life: Bathing, dressing, undressing, making exciting underwear. We are just not used to handsome hermits.
er…okay, like I said my attention wandered. She may have said something entirely different. I’m celibate, I’m not dead.
Is it bad that at one point I checked my wallet? This was not only not usual, it was positively not normal. Therefore the real explanation was probably predatory in some way I didn’t really mind at the time, though that explanation never presented itself.
I never did discern what that was really all about, and was a little late connecting back with my ride.
—
* Full disclosure: I have never been described that way at any point in my life. Not even facetiously.
I bet you could impress them thoroughly if you were to show up at their camp riding a bull.
Of course, these are probably city slickers, so you could just as well show up leading a cow and they would probably be willing to believe it was a bull…
Joel, glad you did not take the bait or you would have been rolled in some alley or out of the way location by her boyfriend or gang of miscreants. If your radar did not sound the klaxon and red flags pop up instantly, you are indeed a bit insulated from the real world, not that there is a darned thing wrong with that.
Heck, I am doing my best to remain on my property and in the workshop a high percentage of the time in retirement as possible. BTW, if you need any materials for that addition that are box-shippable let me know. I have access to some surplus LED lighting from the RV industry if interested – run on 12 V DC too.
RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY FAST!
Next thing you know you’ll be building yet another room onto the lair . . . a “family room” with carpeting and curtains and plush furniture.
And LB will have to sleep under the porch.
Edward, I have a 4X8 closet and an 8X12 bedroom to light, all on 12V, with no plan so far. So bring it on.
I don’t think there are to many cults that sacrifice Desert Hermits.
Her story was bogus! Red flags propelling upward toward the moon may have been an indication. God only knows how many times she has told this story, and how many victims have lost their wallet, watch and probably their vehicle to her and her goonies that are running this scam.
Remain celibate. It’s the best way to keep your wallet and your Jeep. Stay safe brother!
Might want to drop a dime on her, except that might get you involved with the local constabulary.
Looks like big city person came a calling at your little corner of the big empty. It wasn’t a bad thing for you to check your wallet, it would have been silly for you not to. She may have even been on the level (though I highly doubt it) about the camping with the girls thing but the cost of trusting her and being wrong is just a little too high. You did good, too bad you didn’t get a couple of pic of this fetching creature.
Oh come on now. Y’all are just harshin’ way too much on poor ol’ Joel. She clearly recognized him as the reincarnation of Ernest Hemingway from his suave attire and erudite recitation from his favorite Larry Correia novel. And by the way, Joel, there would be no underwear involved because they are all going commando…
Joel – no worries – let me see what works best for those two spaces lighting wise. It will be there before you finish the framing. I think you mentioned you had some heavy gauge wire for the lights, but if you do not, I have some leftover 16GA and maybe 12 GA romex in the shop (solid wire). As you mentioned packrats, maybe metal shielded would be more appropriate?
Matt – who would know?
Still and all, it is nice to have the ego stroked a bit. Even if the stroking is only in your head. I would take it, and damn the wallet.