All these generous strangers, offering to let me in on the ground floor of a Huge Money-Laundering Deal! What did I ever do to engender such widespread blind trust?
Good day and compliments, I know this letter will definitely come to you as a surprise, but I implore you to take the time to go through it carefully as the decision you make will go off a long way to determine my future and continued existence. Please allow me to introduce myself.I am CAPTAIN, ANDRE TOMAS, in 4th Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment unit here that Patrols the al-Hasakah province,Syria. I am desperately in need of assistance and I have summoned up courage to contact you.
I am presently in Syria and I found your contact particulars in an address journal. I am seeking your assistance to evacuate the sum of $2.7M (Two Million Seven Hundred Thousand United States Dollars) to you,as far as I can be assured that it will be safe in your care until I complete my service here. This is no stolen money and there are no dangers involved.
SOURCE OF MONEY:
Some money in US DOLLARS was discovered and concealed in barrels at a location in helman province when we conducted a foot patrol and it was agreed by all party present that the money be shared among us.This might appear as an illegal thing to do but I tell you what? No compensation can make up for the risks we have taken with our lives in this hellhole.The above figure was given to me as my share and to conceal this kind of money became a problem for me, so with the help of a Canadian contact working with the UN here (his office enjoys some immunity) I was able to get the package out to a safe location entirely out of trouble spot.He does not know the real contents of the package as he believes that it belongs to an American who died in an air raid, who before giving up trusted me to hand over the package to his close relative. I have now found a secured way of getting the package out of Syria for you to pick up. I do not know how long I will remain here, as I have been lucky to survive 2 suicide bomb attacks by Pure Divine intervention.
This and other reasons put into consideration have prompted me to reach out for help. If it might be of interest to you then Endeavor to contact me immediately and we would work out the necessary formalities but I pray that you are discreet about this mutually benefiting relationship.Please reply to: [REDACTED]
Respectfully,
Captain Tomas,
United States Soldier:Syria
Private to anyone in the NSA who happens to idly read this blog on his lunch break…
I found your contact particulars in an address journal.
No, he didn’t. Don’t rendition me, bro.
Amazing that he was somehow able to go on foot patrol in Afghanistan despite being stationed in Syria and yet ultimately decided to use his magical teleportation powers to take himself and the money back to Syria afterwards. This guy doesn’t seem like the sharpest tool in the shed. I probably wouldn’t trust him if I were you…
You know, you could always have a little fun with this guy. Get a disposable email address, answer him with fake info and keep stringing him along. You could even make a second fake email address for a fake IRS guy that you could cc just to see how long he would play. The possibilities for fun abound.
Just keep in mind that if it looks to good to be true…
Oh, BTW the 4th Battalion, 64th Armored Regiment United States Army was deactivated in March 2009.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/64th_Armor_Regiment
Better yet, how are you and your ex getting along? Sure would be a shame if he ended up with her e-mail address and such…
}:-]
LOL – Mark, sometimes it is wiser to let sleeping dogs lie. ;>)
Hmmm… Helman Province, Syria.
i send all that type of mail to the u.s. postmaster general.