The Fundamental Difference Between Men And Women!

Yes, you saw it here first.

I have this game I play with expendable commodities. It has a serious enough basis – since I need to keep stocks and can’t just run to the store whenever, I need to know how long things last, right? So I write the date I opened a coffee can, or unwrapped a box of matches, or started a new paper roll right on the package and then when it’s expended I note how long it lasted. That way I learn useful things, like, I need two jars of strawberry jam for every jar of peanut butter, and at least two boxes of kitchen matches to get through a winter.

You’re wondering what this has to do with the fundamental difference between men and women? Patience, Grasshopper! The most valuable Eternal Verities are tucked away inside the most mundane details.

The great unanswerable mystery that is woman, for example, has not to do with ethereal matters at all, but simply, “What does she do with all that goddam toilet paper?”

Right? Right? C’mon, you know it’s true.

I sure hope you didn’t come here looking for the answer. Are you kidding? I’m still trying to figure out plumbing, there’s no way in hell I’ll live long enough to cope with women.

But I can at least illustrate one thing men can do, which women demonstrably can not. Ready? Behold! A phenomenon which can only a man living at least a mile from any human female could possibly display!


About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to The Fundamental Difference Between Men And Women!

  1. jabrwok says:

    I don’t know about the ladies, but I use toilet paper for a variety of things. It’s basically tissues on a roll after all, so nose-blowing, glasses-cleaning, facial-oil-removal…whatever. Plus the primary function of course. The need for which depends on whether I’ve gone too far off the dietary reservation or not:-).

  2. Georgia says:

    Really ? One roll since April 26 ? Looks like a serious case of anal retention. Drink more water.

  3. Harry Steele says:

    The wife and I went our seperate ways on TP…… She uses super expensive sams club TP and it amounts to approx $18/month… I use walmart super cheap 1k sheet rolls at approx $.50 a month….

    Yes, it really is true, we each have our own TP holders and everything, lol….

  4. Kentucky says:

    April 26, huh?

    What year?


  5. Unclezip says:

    I’ve had up to 350 rolls stockpiled at one time. Now that most all the shemales are gone, I only keep a hundred or so. Last year we had two daughters and three granddaughters here, and I swear you could stand still and watch the pile grow smaller.

  6. Jean says:

    It is simple mathematics. Your answer lies in the square footage of the area affected, The number of times that require wiping (ie. we can’t just wiggle and be done with it). Lastly, there is the monthly cleaning up from blood loss (anywhere from 3 days to just over a week of 1/4c or much more). A little blood goes a long way. I don’t understand why this is such a big question.

To the stake with the heretic!