“the most peaceful, most prosperous, most progressive era in human history.”

Ladies and gentlemen, the comedy stylings of Barack Obama:

“I want to begin with an observation that, given the challenges that we face in the world and the headlines we see every day, may seem improbable but it’s true. We are fortuate to be living in the most peaceful, most prosperous, most progressive era in human history,” he said.

“That may surprise young people who are watching TV or looking at your phones,” he said, “and it seems like only bad news comes through every day, but consider it’s been decades since the last war between major powers.”

Okay, in the sense that it’s possible to hope we’re done with the twentieth century and the era of industrial war, yeah, that would be nice*. But in Fukuyama’s sense of “the end of history,” not hardly. Not hardly. There were wars before the mass armies, and there are wars damn near everywhere now.

“The most peaceful, most prosperous, most progressive era in human …” President Obama, is there any foreign government other than the Russians with which your government isn’t at war on some scale?

Oh yeah – I forgot Iran. How senior of me. Next question: At any point, are you planning to stop handing out nuclear weapons to sworn enemies? Because it was predicted that the era of mass warfare would end in nuclear fire, and so far we’ve ducked that prediction, and I was kind of hoping…

And then there’s that looming economic collapse – how many of your own people have given up the dream of even meagerly living from paycheck to paycheck, just in the past seven years, Mr. President? Do you even know?

Of course not. And I’m being rude, asking questions while he’s taking his victory lap. Go ahead and read the whole thing, if you need a bitter chuckle. Turns out it’s all beer and skittles after all, courtesy of The Lightbringer.

Nothing like an article about Obama first thing in the morning to make you gloomy…

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*Though your successor is gonna need a hell of a conscription program if he ends up trying to occupy China…