Who names these things? And when did “they” start naming snowstorms, anyway? When I lived in Michigan, we just called it “Winter.”
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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The Weather Channel is the one who’s doing it, hoping it will catch on.
Their stated rationale is that big winter storms, like hurricanes but unlike summertime tornadoes, generally give plenty of advance notice, and that by giving them names, more people will prepare themselves ahead of time, rather than sliding off the road with a carload of bread and milk in the middle of the storm.
Also, advertising; but that’s just understood.
So far we’ve called all the storms this year “wimpy.” Not enough snow to be worth the bother taking out the snow shovel yet. It’s too damned dry here, and we’re praying for a wet spring.
ML this winter has been anything but “wimpy” this year. Snow, snow and more snow, but after the drought we had last year I am sure the farmers are reallllllly happy here. I just hate driving in it.