…you might be a survivalist.

Eight o’clock this evening I let Torso Boy out so he could give the juniper a squirt before bed. It’s about the only time he’s allowed out without a leash, first thing and last thing in the day, and we started working on it right after he first arrived: I stand on the porch and light up the juniper with my flashlight and he knows to go straight there, pee, and come straight back for a cookie.

I fumbled putting my light back in its holster, it hit the porch floorboards and rolled right down through one of the gaps. I had a feeling I was going to regret that; I’m going to bring back a couple more pressure treated 2X6s when I go to the big town at the end of the month.

Anyway. I let Torso Boy back in, then went down the stairs to find my flashlight … with the second flashlight in my pocket. And – I dunno, I caught myself doing it and thought it was funny as hell. I have become a stereotype.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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13 Responses to …you might be a survivalist.

  1. Ben says:

    I dunno… Were either of those flashlights advertised with the word “tactical “?

  2. anonymous says:

    My brother-in-law has a 2x planked deck in front of his mobile home. He has a lawn chair close to the front door with a machete right next to it. The blade is inserted between the planks to the handle at the surface and can be drawn in an instant, just in case Michael Meyers (Halloween movie reference) decides to show up. He cut the bottom off a Coke can and covers up the handle if company shows up – good low profile defense tool at hand.

    Hey, two flashlights, sounds like someone else I know – not me of course !! :^)

  3. Joel says:

    I dunno… Were either of those flashlights advertised with the word “tactical “?

    (Shuffles the dirt with his toe) “Nooo…”

  4. Cookie says:

    2 is 1, 1 is none!

  5. Mike says:

    “…you might be a survivalist.”

    Does it count if you carry a spare battery for your flashlight? 🤔

  6. Paul says:

    Ok… then I have become a stereotype too!

    As I sit here I have a flashlight on my belt in a holster and another one on my key chain in my pocket – but wait, there is more… There is also one in my right cargo pocket and two on the shelf at my desk within reach. Note this is daytime and at dark the headlamp is added into the mix. Paranoid? nope, just careful!

  7. Paul says:

    Oh yeah – I forgot to mention the spare battery for the belt light in my pocket with the extra bulb too.

  8. Geoff says:

    Either a really tiny flashlight or mighty big gaps. Holster for a flashlight? Pockets work.

  9. terrapod says:

    How does that saying go? One is none, two is one and three or more is prudence?

  10. Robert says:

    “…you might be a survivalist.” Stereotypes aren’t necessarily non-useful.

    Joel, I see three lights, no, four, (one rechargeable) as I type this. I say you done good, being able to rescue your light without having to go hunt up another somewhere which would have been inevitably dead.

    This morning my ten-year-old electric shaver gave up the ghost while I was behind schedule, of course.

    I promptly broke out my 1973-boot-camp-issued blade razor and finished the (painful) job.
    All the while ruminating on the mindset that occasioned me to have previously stashed a 6-pack of SHTF disposables razors.

    I bought a new cordless shaver this afternoon.

    Gonna go search amazon for a wind-up shaver…

  11. Joel says:

    People keep sending me flashlights, and I really do test and maintain their battery condition. In addition to the one and sometimes two that I carry there are multiples in virtually every drawer in the Lair. I fairly often go around and test batteries, because when you brew your own electricity and lighting you will find yourself needing auxiliary lighting without advance warning. There’s one in the pantry, one in the Jeep, one in the powershed, etc.

  12. Sgt 73rd Regt says:

    Hey, I have 3 flashlights (we call them torches down here in OZ) and I don’t even live in the desert, I am on the bushy outskirts of a large city. I use one every night when I let our Whippet out for a pee to check for possums as he just loves chasing and catching them.

  13. Salty AF Vet says:

    I have multiples for a few reason, the most important being I like being prepared. Second, I have an 11year old and a wife who constantly and permanently borrow things without telling me, and often I don’t see those things again until months down the road. By that time I have purchased a third or fourth item, to go along with the originals I eventually find.

    But, yes. I like the stereotype and I fit it well.

To the stake with the heretic!