A pile of fresh rat droppings on my brand-new porch floor.
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Do you suffer from a lonely, unfulfilled, angst-driven existence? Do you often wish you could do something meaningful with your life, like end death or war or taxes, or maybe just read a really good book?
Then you need to buy the following novels immediately!
The Scroll of Jeremiah
The Last Faithful Man
Walt’s Gulch
Songs of Bad Men and Good
You got something against Gaia’s pets? 🙂
Tip: never pick up a dead rat by the tail. It. Can. Be. Revolting. (shudder).
But I be Joel and his Legion of Readers already know this.
Personally a 9 iron works best with live or dead vermin, but be sure to stand out of the arc of guts
https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/71-NRqElxGL._SY879_.jpg
Eeewww! An here I thought the blowout from a .22 short was messy. Ewww.
I prefer a shovel, but whatever works. 🙂