Author Archives: Joel

OnStar radio commercials try hard to make surveillance sound like a good thing, but apparently even they can’t spin this… Navigation-and-emergency-services company OnStar is notifying its six million account holders that it will keep a complete accounting of the speed … Continue reading →

Warning: Bad Language and Stupidity. I knew a guy in Oklahoma who had distilled his racism down to one very simple, easily-digested polarity: There were Indians, and there were non-Indians.  If you weren’t an Indian, you weren’t shite.  Just to … Continue reading →

Click for Embiggenment. Is he a narcissist?  Of course he is.  ALL politicians, like all actors, are narcissists – virtually by definition – or they wouldn’t be in that field in the first place.  But there are rules.  Politicians follow … Continue reading →

This probably doesn’t sound as silly to Canadians as it does to me, an ol’ American cedar rat who just heard of it. Ethical oil/conflict oil?  What the hell is a Lush store?  I gather they don’t sell booze.  The … Continue reading →

I’ve always heard they come more often when you get older.  You just wake up – no reason, nothing wrong, you’re just awake.  And maybe you’ll be able to go back to sleep in an hour and maybe you won’t. … Continue reading →

Which is why they say the ancient Macedonians would never make a serious decision until they’d discussed it both drunk and sober.  Smart people, the Macedonians…

Gerber Freeman Hunter.  Carried it for about two years now.  It’s not all tactical and stuff, and the hard stainless is a bit difficult to get a good edge on, but it holds it well. Yes, every day.  Right now, … Continue reading →

For some reason I haven’t been able to figure, this old post got some attention yesterday.  It drew a lot of hate when I first put it up almost two years ago.  I need to find some new way to … Continue reading →

I dunno – maybe it’s a pheremone thing.  Babies to which you’re not related are just babies.  You may find them cute or you might want to drop-kick them, depending on your mood and their activity of the moment, but … Continue reading →

In an effort to save you time and effort, we here at The Ultimate Answer to Kings have provided you with a handy new button for reporting our seditious editorial staff directly to the Obama Campaign. This button will continue … Continue reading →

Problem! There are too many unemployed Americans, and America doesn’t pump enough oil to satisfy its own needs. Solution! Hire more people to pump more oil. Problem! There’s a Snail Darter/Spotted Owl common lizard in the way. Solution! Stomp, shovel, … Continue reading →

You can tell because the “people” who paid for this billboard – and the theoretical people who might take it seriously – clearly have dead minds. Here’s a hint: Many people “may not” use deadly force, in the sense of … Continue reading →

I’ve barely done a thing this weekend, while Landlady was visiting, but Ghost had a full time. In and out of Mom’s place, dashing around keeping the evil ravens away. Ran off twice to S&L’s, got one nice long walky … Continue reading →

So pretend somebody else snuck onto the blog and did it. This is, BTW, my all-time favorite Weird Al song.

…except that sealing it would be a problem, and UV degradation on those plastic bottles would be a real bitch. I give it a year. Still, as a concept it rivals “light tunnel” illuminators I’ve seen, and they work great. … Continue reading →

So I said as I handed an expensive four-DVD set back to my neighbor J. He texted me last night about it, and I immediately replied that I had returned it to him a long time ago. He immediately replied … Continue reading →

I’m busy this morning. And already an hour late for the business. And bugged about something. And concerned about something. And generally not very funny, or informative, or whatever. Go read this instead.

Got a call from my neighbor D. “I need to put a new voltage regulator in my generator. Can you come help?” D&L have laid so many obs on me over the years that if they needed somebody to prance … Continue reading →

Is that an attack? Yesterday while avoiding work I saw what seemed like six dozen snarky references to something called attackwatch.com. I went there and couldn’t tell what the hell it was about. I was supposed to report attacks, or … Continue reading →

I’m having a frustrating time with a project. Keep charging off in the wrong direction, and it isn’t what the customer wants. One time-consuming draft after another shot down. Clearly it’s time for a walky. We haven’t been doing walkies … Continue reading →