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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
“Scientists say”
This month is the planet’s hottest on record by far – and hottest in around 120,000 years, scientists say Seriously? Hottest in 120,000 years? Scientists say that? I would be very interested in seeing the evidence behind that uniquely unverifiable … Continue reading
“Oh, you’ve GOT to be kidding me…”
That centipede I mentioned? Turns out I killed the little one. The big one makes me want to nuke Ian’s Cave from orbit, as the only way to be sure. Okay, I don’t know what unholy stuff is going on … Continue reading
“Alternately, maybe I’m just an idiot.”
Trying to do stuff on my laptop this morning after morning chores and while the muffins are in the oven, but the ‘pooter is starting to worry me. I keep getting intervals of white noise and silence, cutting on and … Continue reading
Ugh.
I page back through my records to see when I’ve enjoyed a heatwave more than this one. Somehow three days of 100o+ is more memorable than three weeks of 98o. Monsoon has been a total bust so far, doing nothing … Continue reading
Tobie gets a Jeep ride, and everything breaks at once
D&L had a doctor appointment in the big town about 50 miles away, which meant Tobie and I got to go visit their boys and feed them lunch. Feeding the boys is simple enough but only part of the process, … Continue reading
The surprising electric chainsaw
As the Secret Lair approached habitability in 2011 I was faced with a logistical problem: I planned to heat with juniper and so I was going to need a good chainsaw. Got one, too, through one of those instances of … Continue reading
All 550 cord is not alike.
I wanted to lash a carabiner onto Tobie’s new leash this morning, so I pulled the stuffing out of some old 550 cord I’ve had laying around for – well, decades. And the tiny nylon cords I pulled out seemed … Continue reading
Too hot for bike riding, and also somebody did me a solid.
I put 24 miles on the ebike before 9:30… Needed to go to town and very much wanted to get it done before it got too hot. So I left right after morning walkie and chores. Everything went perfectly, no … Continue reading
Phoebe tried for a twofer…
A single phoebe has shown up every year since I built the bedroom addition, early in the summer, built a nest in the eaves, hatched one bunch of eggs, and then bailed for parts unknown. As far as I know … Continue reading
Oh, maaan…
Longtime readers know that Uncle Joel really likes BDU trousers. They are, in my opinion, the most practical pants for desert living. They’re cool, roomy, have lots of pockets, and believe it or not even the blousing ribbons are useful … Continue reading
It’s raining!
Clouds started rolling in around noon. Temperature has dropped 15o in two hours. Doesn’t look like we’re in for much rain today, but Monsoon has officially begun. We’ll see how wet it decides to be. Maybe soon I can stop … Continue reading
Begun, the tumbleweed wars have.
This is the bottom of the driveway that feeds Ian’s place and mine, and for the past few years it has been a tumbleweed nursery. I like to get’em out of there before they mature. Cut’em off at the root … Continue reading
And there it is…
We finally scraped three figures. Just briefly, but this is officially the first 100o day of the summer. Naturally… My knee decided to go south yesterday, which meant I got to spend the hottest day of the year so far … Continue reading
Havin’ a heat wave…
Nowhere near a record, but still pretty hot. It was supposed to go into three figures today but didn’t. Supposed to do the same thing tomorrow. Last week’s Monsoon beginning was an almost total no-show. But I still got an … Continue reading
Tobie’s Big Adventure…
Normally on laundry day Tobie and I swing past Ian’s place, I start the machine going, and then we take our walkie. He really doesn’t like hanging around inside so I normally tie him off outside while I finish washing … Continue reading
The leading edge of Monsoon…
We’ve spent the past week in a minor-league heat wave, every day peaking at mid-nineties. Nothing like what’s going on in the cities in the valley, I’m told. This is perfectly normal for July before the start of Monsoon. The … Continue reading
Us boomers will sometimes trip over erroneous cultural references…
I often wake up with a song in my head, usually for no apparent reason. This morning it was Don McLean’s Pride Parade, and I could only remember the chorus – nothing at all of the verses. You already know … Continue reading
Wow, I haven’t felt that in quite a while…
Acute anxiety, that is. You know: When your chest tightens and your breathing rate gets higher and higher and you have a – possibly senseless – desire to be almost anywhere other than where you are. For no apparent reason. … Continue reading
Yeah, but it’s a dry heat.
This actually has an upside. It’s the desert: I was aware before I moved here that deserts get hot in the summer. I’m sweating but I still much prefer this to winter. Or living in a city. Still. It’s hot. … Continue reading









































