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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
I hate gas fittings.
Sweartagod, after I’ve betrayed the revolution and set myself up as president-for-life, there are gonna be some changes around here. I go through this every gorram time. All I wanted to do was replace the single regulator on Ian’s propane … Continue reading
Another annoying mystery leak
Last summer I gave up on my improvised solar water heater because it sprang a theoretically impossible but quite substantial leak. This morning I pulled all the innards down to see if I could find it. It’s just good quality … Continue reading
And – sigh – that’s what trifocals are for?
And that’s how you know you’re getting old, I suppose. Maybe two months ago I stopped wearing my bifocals, which I got online and truly hate, in favor of dollar store reading glasses. At roughly the same moment, I stopped … Continue reading
I’m getting good at this!
Sorry about the lack of content, the spring wind has gone into extra innings and it’s got all the pollen going up my nose. I’m living on pseudoephedrine and getting nothing done whatsoever. Personal best so far this week: Baking … Continue reading
The last payphone?
I happened to be in town with D&L yesterday on unrelated business. They stopped at the convenience store: I looked at the corner of the building, and saw… …or rather didn’t see, the store’s payphone! It’s gone! And it hasn’t … Continue reading
Ugliest flower ever…
The banana yucca are in full bloom now. The nicest thing about them is that they have no scent.
“I know, I know…”
“It’s after 6:30. The day is half gone.” Tobie’s only real function, at this early stage, is to keep me honest about getting out the door instead of rolling over and going back to sleep. And may I say he’s … Continue reading
Monday water run…
Every week D and I fill up our drinking water bottles. L mentioned on the way into town that she ran into another contractor – water softener technician – who wouldn’t believe how hard the well water is until he … Continue reading
Ben had a good idea in comments…
In our last exciting episode, I got an early mouse in the bedroom heater’s firebox. Not allowed. They’re getting in through the exterior vent. Sidebar: Mice in the vent is not ever mentioned as a possible problem in ads for … Continue reading
Furtive footfalls in the night…
This is my punishment for procrastination. Procrastination is my kryptonite. I happened to be awake at 2am for unrelated reasons when I heard a faint metallic clang – and I knew right away where it came from. Last October I … Continue reading
Another ebike milestone…
It’ll be three years old in August, and by then we may have crossed a thousand miles. 800 today, with one major electrical fault, probably a cold solder joint, and two thorn flats. So far. An interesting tidbit: I got … Continue reading
“Didja get it all? No? Well, you tried…”
Tobie likes peanut butter, a taste Laddie completely lacked. But Tobie doesn’t have Little Bear’s anteater tongue. He tried, though. Worked on it for a happy hour.
An endless series of hobgoblins…
I’m trying to think of a term, maybe you can help me because I’m drawing a blank. During the morning walkie/sniffathon, I was listening to a podcast discussing myths related to the latest gungrabber hobgoblin, “ghost guns.” And while waiting … Continue reading
I guess sometimes you just need a flamethrower.
Even to me, that sounds like a weird sentence. I remember a time, many years ago in the Texas panhandle, some of the younger members of the local rifle and pistol club wanted to use a horseshoe canyon on the … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Moments – “Failures in boony life” edition
Drove up the wash to replace that target stand that was falling apart when it was wood… For some reason I’m pulling all my shots left all of a sudden. Keep meaning to take a paper target to the regular … Continue reading
I resemble that remark…
So Tam noticed something weird about a particular Charter Arms gun… You may have heard that Charter Arms is offering a five-shot .44 Special snubbie entirely devoid of useful sights that they are calling the “Boomer”. Well, I obviously had … Continue reading
It’s so nice and quiet now!
One of the things I hate about portable generators – any generators really – is the noise. The incessant, teeth-grinding noise. I like quiet. It’s a major reason I live here. One of the things I always liked about other … Continue reading
Hooza good boy?
I spent a fair amount of the morning in the reading chair this morning after the long morning walkie. Tobie mostly stayed in his bed, but occasionally came into the bedroom briefly to see if he could jazz up any … Continue reading









































