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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Finally got a whole chore done in one go.
I spend every winter basically sitting around, which means that in spring I’m a superannuated sack of jello. Takes a while to get into some semblance of shape. Today I cut all that wood that’s been leaning against the cabin … Continue reading
I’m not getting much done, but Phoebe is…
Don’t know why, though I can guess one of the past week’s windstorms might be to blame, but Phoebe decided to build a new nest. It’s bigger! It’s better! It’s…still on the windward side of the cabin, so WTF, Phoebe? … Continue reading
Things fall apart…
…and need to pretty constantly be put back together. A lot of this is due to poor construction in the first place: I never claimed I knew what I was doing. Living here is the very model of learning on … Continue reading
Oh, you dirty, dirty girls.
If you’ve ever raised your own laying hens you already know that very young and very old hens tend to produce problematic eggs. Like, eggs with shells so thin they don’t survive the visits of subsequent hens to the nesting … Continue reading
Slime tire inflator, long-term review
It’s been eight years since a Generous Reader sent me my Slime tire inflation compressor. For such a cheesy-looking thing it has held up remarkably well and done me many services. It has gotten a tad beat up in the … Continue reading
Being a good boy has its downsides…
Maybe he’s just trying to lull me into a false sense of security, but I’m getting the notion that Tobie may be leaving his Obnoxious Puppy phase. The horrid chewing and wanton destruction of my property has ceased. I can … Continue reading
I really truly don’t know how you guys do it…
Just shy of eighty bucks. Gas hasn’t been this high since the Obama administration. Of course back then I couldn’t afford to fill 3 and a half gas cans at a go. The good news (for me) is that, barring … Continue reading
Best windstorm ever!
Wow, that was a good one. Started early yesterday morning – most big wind doesn’t really get started until noon or after – and blew so hard that when I actually went out in it for Tobie’s mid-day walkie the … Continue reading
I…have questions.
I picture craftsmen, somewhere near an arms bazaar in Peshawar, rolling on the ground howling with laughter. Nearby, a grizzled former mujahid drinks tea and ponders dark thoughts, wondering how Americans ever got such a fearsome rep. What I wonder…this … Continue reading
Okay. Not so mysterious after all.
What we have here is a clear case of goathead thorn. I mean I can see the thorn in the tire, surrounded by soapy bubbles. So I spent my one spare tube, which with 4-inch tires is not a difficult … Continue reading
Another mystery flat tire…
…on the ebike. This happened once before, in 2019 shortly after I got the bike. No explanation: I came into Ian’s to get it and the front tire was utterly flat. At the time I assumed I’d run over something … Continue reading
Phoebe’s back!
Tobie and I were out doing chores this morning, specifically cleaning out the little tin storage shed behind the cabin. I have let it and the powershed get out of control, and one of the early season tasks is to … Continue reading
Cracks in the wall you can practically walk through…
Getting a good permanent seal – or any real seal – between a cement block wall and a wooden windowframe is probably a known art. We just don’t happen to know it. And after several years of weather drying out … Continue reading
“So…”
“You’re ready for your walkie, is what you’re saying.” “Tobie, it’s 6:30 in the morning. Just because it gets light earlier doesn’t mean we have to do everything earlier.”
They keep getting smaller and brighter.
It’s a super windy day, with temps unlikely to get out of the fifties. So I’m cocooning indoors today. A little discouraging to look out my bedroom window and watch the wind bounce tumbleweeds up my driveway from the wash, … Continue reading
Trying to get Tobie some exercise…
Nothing much going on around the Secret Lair over the past few days, just minor chores and getting myself into some sort of shape for summer. Since there’s still nothing really worth talking about but I’m aware of having neglected … Continue reading
Fixing Ian’s porch column
So several days ago I noticed that the concrete pier on one of Ian’s porch columns, not very deeply or well planted, was trying to escape. I’m a couple of days behind schedule on fixing this but Tuesday turned very … Continue reading
Morning walkie
Another beautiful spring morning. By far the coolest we’ve had in the past week, which was really kind of welcome… …because I laid a fire after the last one, as always, but that was like two weeks ago and I … Continue reading
Spring wind
When I looked at the forecast a few days ago, I wrote off Tuesday for most outdoor activities. When the only thing the weatherman can think to say about a high desert day in April is “windy,” he probably means … Continue reading









































