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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
I didn’t leave the Internet, the Internet left me.
I sat down to write this magnificently significant and meaningful post last night which would have transformed your life in so many positive ways, it’s just tragic that I couldn’t connect and now I’ve forgotten what I wanted to say. … Continue reading
“You haven’t had a headache until you’ve sunburned the top of your head.”
I have a neighbor who’s going through a round of chemo. She started losing her (beautiful long) hair, and so decided to beat chemistry to the punch by buzzing it down to the scalp like I do. This had both … Continue reading
When you’ve been doing it wrong over and over for frickin’ decades…
…things can get awfully aggravating. I bake bread every five days or so, and my recipe makes two standard-sized loaves. I have no complaints with the taste and consistency of my recipe, which I’ve made so often that by now … Continue reading
With solar, just a little haze goes a long way.
It’s grassfire season, as even a glance at the horizon would tell anybody. We in the Gulch aren’t in danger from wildfires, for fairly obvious reasons. You can’t throw a stone without hitting a lightning-struck juniper, and here and there … Continue reading
I feel smarter now.
If you’d asked me at the beginning of this week, “If it were all going to fall apart tomorrow, what panicked preparations would you take,” I would only have been able to think of one: I’d do something about all … Continue reading
Look who’s … still not exactly thrilled with Jeep rides
I mean he’s gone from panicked to resigned, which is pretty good progress in less than a month. He’ll get in on his own now – with sometimes quite a bit of prompting. He hasn’t tried to jump out lately. … Continue reading
A major propane run
Sometimes the stars align to do something unseasonable. This is the Secret Lair’s current propane situation… In mid-June on possibly the hottest week of the year – by far the hottest to date – two full reserve bottles hardly constitutes … Continue reading
I fought the Kong and the Kong won…
Seriously. From appearances, it Kong-fued his ass halfway across the cabin and took his bed away from him. Slippery rug didn’t help…
Tobie’s first kill
Oh, brother. So on our afternoon walkie, Tobie got his first clean shot at a rabbit. He blasted off after it, and having no choice I let him run without making a fuss. Young as he is and in this … Continue reading
Solar water heater update…
Sometimes you gotta ask yourself: How much is too much? Because I think live steam is too much. And I don’t believe the plumbing, which is basically good-quality garden hose, is really going to keep putting up with it. But … Continue reading
Care Packages! – Puppy Shower Edition
Tobie is a happy dog! He got a helluva lot of presents in this care package drop. A new big bed! Far too big for the original 200 sq. ft. cabin, but we’ll work that out. I was afraid this … Continue reading
Tobie’s New Game
In the morning we usually go down the wash for our walkie, in a more-or-less straight line from the driveway. At that point it’s an interesting semantic question as to whether it’s a wash or a canyon. Tomato tomahto. In … Continue reading
Again with the Old Neighborhood Rifleman…
So I was at a neighbor’s house this morning, and he asked if I wouldn’t have a look at this old SKS he picked up cheap for his grandson, you know, make sure it works safely before passing it on. … Continue reading
There now.
Hot water won’t make that leak. Corrosion might, in the fullness of time. But heat won’t. D&L have a regular Wednesday doctor visit in the big town about 50 miles away for the next two months or so. Which means … Continue reading
The extra dogs were just too much provocation.
Tobie has been doing really good with walkies. Today’s setback was due to poor route choice on my part. We took what I think of as the long circuit: overland directly to Landlady’s ridge to visit the chickens, then down … Continue reading
Simplifying my simple solar water heater even further,…
…in hope of correcting last summer’s near-total failure. The poor-man’s solar water heater is made of a free fiberglass box and a whole bunch of black garden hose. That part seems to work fine. But – mostly for artistic purposes, … Continue reading
This picture was taken at 4:46.
Somebody knows suppertime is 5:00.
Zoomies!
Little Bear had Magnus to teach him and keep him safe when he was a little puppy; Tobie, alas, only has me. And lacking a fenced safe yard to run and play in, and hampered by an overprotective Uncle Joel, … Continue reading









































