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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Snakes on a Jeep
Oh, I missed the perfect photograph yesterday evening. I’ve mentioned that lately I’m up to my armpits in bull snakes, which is not so unusual in spring/early summer. Unlike rattlesnakes, bull snakes are entirely harmless and beneficial and I do … Continue reading
To the best of my knowledge I have no Finnish ancestors…
…and I feel kind of cheated. Because the Finns actually have a word for this. If I were a Finn I’d know how to pronounce it. Then I could exercise the hell out of my white privilege. ETA: Okay, turns … Continue reading
English is a dreadful language
I just stumbled on this: May have read it a long time ago, it seems vaguely familiar, don’t know who wrote it but he/she wasn’t wrong… I take it you already know Of tough and bough and cough and dough? … Continue reading
This little guy is an absolute doll.
Sorry about the no-posting thing: I’m dealing with an unusually protracted early-summer allergy situation here and the antihistamines have me doing nothing with my days but regular chores and wanting to nap. But I do want to take this opportunity … Continue reading
Eight o’clock, and I got up from the ‘pooter to make my evening tea…
…and Tobie wasn’t on the floor, or in his bed. I turned on the overhead light, and… …he had quietly climbed onto my reading chair, just wanting to hang out next to Uncle Joel. We’re still working on the Jeep … Continue reading
A word on Ian’s new book…
So last week I spent a couple of days editing a galley proof of Ian’s new book, colloquially Chinese Mystery Pistols but officially… And last week I was distracted by a new puppy with digestive issues and one of the … Continue reading
At the risk of sounding like a broken record…
…I can do this now. Low on gasoline and (after a rather expensive trip to a dog shelter and a Petco a week ago) utterly out of money, it was nice to still have the means to ride to town … Continue reading
Portrait of a happier puppy
Tobie and I have been taking a lot of short utilitarian walkies lately, while he worked out his digestion problems. That’s getting better at last, by the way. Anyway, he has recently developed a very annoying trait in which he … Continue reading
…or that time you found out trigger discipline is important…
I was going to make a comment about Early Me, but even at my goofiest I never pretended I could dance.
Portrait of an Unhappy Puppy
Get a load of this… Tobie decided right away that he absolutely hated the Jeep. He didn’t even want to walk past the right side when we went out for a pee, for fear that at any moment I might … Continue reading
What we’ve got here is failure to communicate.
Puppies make messes. Big puppies make big messes. I’ve mentioned that Tobie seems to have come pre-housebroken, a happy surprise. Unfortunately when certain digestive upsets occur, training doesn’t always help. And especially in the middle of the night, if you … Continue reading
Leaving Tobie alone in the cabin: Fingers crossed.
So Monday mornings I always go with D&L to refill the drinking water bottles. This would be the first time I left Tobie alone, and I was very interested to see the result of that. I keep mentally turning his … Continue reading
We’re gonna need a bigger bed.
On Friday morning, anticipating my hoped-for new arrival, among other things I brought Laddie’s old bed out of storage. When the bundle of joy actually arrived he was clearly a few sizes too big for it, so I set it … Continue reading
Aqualung, updated for the 21st century…
Sitting on the sidewalk… Eyeing foodie droids with bad intent…
Tobie update
What a sweet little guy. I have a hard time believing he’s as old as a year – I’m no expert but I’d guess no more than 9 months. He has no real vices other than a tendency to go … Continue reading
Meet the new Official TUAK Dog!
Introducing Tobie. Tobie is – well, they say 1 year old but I think much younger, 30ish pounds, the result of a shepherd mating with something rather smaller than a shepherd. I got tired of waiting for my next dog … Continue reading
The Best Place in the World
Here’s something I wrote 19 years ago, when I was still in California and basically living in the depths of despair. I just came upon and re-read it, and find nothing in it of which I should repent. The thesis … Continue reading
New Rosemary…
The local feed store finally got their annual garden plants in. I like to grow rosemary for baking into bread. Rosemary is the only garden plant I’ve seen that does well in this environment*, and for a wonder the rodents … Continue reading
Mistakes you make with a game camera…
…over and over, in my case. I don’t know where all the game has gone. Sometimes things just dry up: I’m quite sure there are still animals somewhere in the desert but they haven’t been in my part of the … Continue reading
Ebike update
On a road to nowhere this morning, just for fun… We crossed 500 miles on the odo! I put 24 miles on it today, mostly off pavement, and ow my ass. Also, first sunburn of the season. You might recall … Continue reading









































