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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Booster Installation Complete!
I would never say (out loud) something stupid like “problem solved.” I will say that things on the connection front are very snappy at present, and the iPhone displays an unheard-of three bars. Installing a signal booster is as simple … Continue reading
More power!
Extra TUAK life points if you know what this is… Seriously, we’ll see. But it can’t possibly hurt – Landlady has one of these at her cabin, which is also not line of sight to any cell tower, and the … Continue reading
Gas cans are the bane of my existence.
A year or two I bought two new plastic gas cans – the government-approved kind with the nozzle you need three hands to operate… …and one of them already leaks so bad at the gasket that, trying to gas the … Continue reading
So close to hot showers! So close.
Indoor running hot water has proven a much bigger technical challenge than we ever anticipated. Other neighbors with bigger budgets have done it so we know what’s needed. But there’s a reason I still have to heat water for dishwashing … Continue reading
Field Repair, Chopsaw, firewood
Yeah, it’s a piece of crap. Found an open circuit, repaired it, got it working again… …and it’s probably good for the season. But yeah, that was good advice about shopping for a new switch. The obvious open circuit was … Continue reading
Obviously I have nothing against food hoarding, but…
…you’re not allowed to hoard MY FOOD. This is a portion of a secondary food hoard at an undisclosed offsite location. This is a random partially-expended tea stash, stored with a secondary food hoard at an undisclosed offsite location. These … Continue reading
Happy belated Paratus!
So I got a card – and a kind gift – from Commander Zero… …and I still suspect he’s making this up. But I’m wrong a lot, and anyway I do appreciate the thought.
And the stacking begins.
That’s all I got cut to stove lengths today. I intended more and in fact was raring to go and had lots of wood left to be cut. But I had to quit… …because the switch on my chopsaw packed … Continue reading
Woodshed floor repair
This is what the rats have done to my nice stone woodshed floor over the past 3 years. Needless to say my hopes for keeping them out of the back of the woodshed with hardware cloth didn’t entirely work out … Continue reading
Goat’s milk! Huh! What is it good for?
Within the roughly 4 mile2 area I consider the Gulch proper, we have some new neighbors. I’m not going to get into their particulars because I don’t think they’d like that but they have two unique features about them: Their … Continue reading
I learned a new word this morning!
Doomscrolling and doomsurfing are new terms referring to the tendency to continue to surf or scroll through bad news, even though that news is saddening, disheartening, or depressing. Many people are finding themselves reading continuously bad news about COVID-19 without … Continue reading
Warning: This is how weird the world outside my Gulch has become…
At first sight I was prepared to take this picture seriously. NBA Players Wear Special Lace Collars To Honor Ruth Bader Ginsburg You guys stay safe. This old man’s never going out there again.
Second day of woodcutting
When I got ready to move into the Secret Lair about nine years ago, planning to heat it with wood, I looked around at all the dead juniper everywhere and saw an embarrassment of riches – I really thought I … Continue reading
First official day of woodcutting…
And technology is my friend. Unlike yesterday the Honda started cold with one gentle pull on the starter and whirred happily as soon as I opened the choke. And this thing… Being unfamiliar with the prosumer or professional grades of … Continue reading
Mediocre!
So I was just cleaning dust off my game camera before putting it back out at the watering station, right? And… …my finger went right through the badly-fogged plastic that covers what I take to be the light sensor. Might … Continue reading
I’m turning into a maudlin old fool.
It’s been a couple of days over a month since I lost Laddie, and life has pretty much gone back to normal. New, dogless normal. At least I’m no longer grumping in my chair all day and drinking too much … Continue reading
Love that Honda…
Three years ago a VERY Generous Reader sent me my very own Honda generator, new in box, after life changes rendered it irrelevant to the reader’s future plans. I confess I was both excited to receive it and also – … Continue reading
Getting the autumn itch early this year…
Autumn isn’t officially here till tomorrow but we do seem to be ramping up for autumn chores here at the Secret Lair. Both propane stations are locked and loaded, and… …as of Saturday all the spares are full. This is … Continue reading
This should do it…
I mostly dislike having to buy things. I really hate having to buy things twice, but I suppose I did this to myself. I went cheap and shouldn’t have. When I got this bypass regulator both of the hoses that … Continue reading









































