Because this is an actual, for real, genuine headline I did not make up.
(astonishingly annoying autoplay on this site you can’t turn off, so be sure your boss is hanging around your cube before you click because they love that.)
But seriously. I didn’t make up the Chihuahuas. People are being terrorized by packs of Chihuahuas. I now despair.
They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
Little Bear 2009-2018
Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
"Freedom Outlaw. It’s not what you do; it’s how you do it. It’s an attitude — from which actions always follow. It’s a do-it-yourself occupation. And a lifetime vocation."
- Claire Wolfe, Backwoods Home Companion, 6-07-10
I owe my success to having listened respectfully to the very best advice, and then going away and doing the exact opposite.
- G. K. Chesterton
"If every Jewish and anti-Nazi family in Germany had owned a Mauser rifle and twenty rounds of ammunition and the will to use it, Adolf Hitler would be a little-known footnote to the history of the Weimar Republic."
- Aaron Zelman
"Authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force."
- Barbie
"Never underestimate the ability of shit to find a fan."
- F. Paul Wilson
"You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs." The sophistry of villains - Bah!
- Robert A. Heinlein, Double Star
“Truth is, I’m not specifically interested in an armed society. What I want is a free society.”
- George Potter
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself
A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.
- D. H. Lawrence
Aristippus passed Diogenes as he was washing lentils.
He said, “If you could but learn to flatter the king, you would not have to live on lentils.”
Diogenes said, “And if you could learn to live on lentils, you would not have to flatter the king.”
Sandy Hook was a Gun Free Zone. So was the Westroads Mall. And the Aurora Theater. And Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Should I go on? They were all Gun Free Zones.
– Reality
“Political tags — such as royalist, communist, democrat, populist, fascist, liberal, conservative, and so forth — are never basic criteria. The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled and those who have no such desire. The former are idealists acting from highest motives for the greatest good of the greatest number. The latter are surly curmudgeons, suspicious and lacking in altruism. But they are more comfortable neighbors than the other sort.”
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Civilization is the process of setting man free from men."
- Ayn Rand
If ever a man should ask you
For your business or your name
Tell him to go and fuck himself
Tell his friends to do the same.
For a man who'd trade his liberty
For a safe and dreamless sleep
Doesn't deserve the both of them
And neither shall he keep.
- Frank Turner
Don't be afraid to try something big, just because you're an amateur. The Ark was built by amateurs. The Titanic was built by professionals.
- Anon
"Nothing scares a police officer more than the threat of being treated the way that they treat people every day."
- Anon
"Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet."
- Gen. James Mattis
"Lust for power is the most flagrant of all the passions."
- Tacitus
"The man who knows what freedom means will find a way to be free."
- F.A. "Baldy" Harper
"The greatest discovery of any generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude."
- William James
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.
- Viktor Frankl
The free man will ask neither what his country can do for him nor what he can do for his country.
- Milton Friedman
“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it.”
- William Faulkner
There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.
- Ernest Hemingway
"Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen."
- Friedrich Nietzsche
John Moses Browning - The most badass Mormon who ever lived.
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are 'I'm from the government, and I'm here to help.'"
- Ronald Reagan
The most dangerous creation of any society is the man who has nothing to lose.
- James A. Baldwin
"It is better to be a warrior in a garden than to be a gardener in a war."
- Anon
“I tried to live in such a way that, when dying, I would rather feel happy than scared.”
– Witold Pilecki
Few men desire liberty; most men wish only for a just master.
- Sallust
"Place your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark."
- Lazarus Long
Read, every day, something no one else is reading.
Think, every day, something no one else is thinking.
Do, every day, something no one else would be silly enough to do.
It is bad for the mind to continually be part of unanimity.
– Christopher Morley
“I have found that, to make a contented slave, it is necessary to make a thoughtless one. It is necessary to darken his moral and mental vision, and, as far as possible, to annihilate the power of reason. He must be able to detect no inconsistencies in slavery; he must be made to feel that slavery is right; and he can be brought to that only when he ceases to be a man.”
-Frederick Douglass
ESSE QUAM VIDERI –
To be, rather than to seem
– Marcus Tullius Cicero
“A Winchester rifle should have a place of honor in every black home, and it should be used for that protection which the law refuses to give.”
– Ida B. Wells
Do what thy manhood bid thee do; from none but self expect applause.
He noblest lives and noblest dies, who makes and keeps his self made laws
– Sir Richard Burton
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
– Winston Churchill
“Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Dance as though no one is watching you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Sing as though no one can hear you. Live as though heaven is on earth.”
― Father Alfred d’Souza
This is not a joke people – those little mother’s will bite your toes and scatter little dog turds like brown Skittles, I can see the gleam of Man Hate in that animal’s eyes . . .
Pack heavy. Two spare magazines in reserve. Aim low.
Believe it. Unfortunately.
I do dog rescue. Five years ago, the typical stray we’d pick up off the street was BIG — most commonly a one-year-old, unneutered male black Lab or Lab mix who got dumped or escaped after being left neglected and untrained on a chain or in a backyard. Potential adopters were always calling wanting SMALL dogs, and all we had were these misbehaving monsters.
Now? Different story. Chihuahuas, chihuahuas, chihuahuas. Bunches of local Latinos have decided they can make money backyard-breeding the little suckers. They usually keep them in deplorable conditions. Some end up getting confiscated by cops after abuse reports. Others escape or get thrown out. Unhealthy, inbred, unneutered, unloved, semi-feral, and as prevalent as rats. And yes, with the notoriously grouchy and aggressive chihuahua personality.
No joke. Wish it were.
This is the true origin of the Mexican Hat Dance. Cover mob of ankle biters with sombrero, stomp ’til toothy bits stop articulating. My grandmother had these things…horrible beasts. The only thing they do correctly is tremble, bite, bark at EVERYTHING and shit. The males are possessed of a naturally occurring viagra that keeps the part you never wanna see in view at most times. The females are generally more capable of producing urine than any other creature south of a blue whale.
I am totally against breed specific legislation but will gladly see both the puppy mill for fighting owner/breeders of pits(yes Mike Vick, I’m talking to you and yes I would say it to your stooopid candy ass face) and anyone who desires one of these obnoxious little shit and infected bite wound factories neutered. Hopefully if the interested party can no longer breed, the compulsion to have such things will die with them.
My cat eats chihuahua for lunch.
A .177 caliber air rifle is not only stealthy, but plenty powerful enough to solve this problem at short ranges.
The only dog I’ve ever met who hated me, for no apparent reason, was a fat nasty little chi that we used to have stay with us while her owner was on vacation. It loved DH, but would snarl and lunge at me any time I happened to walk past her. Nasty fat little piece of work named Petunia. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Packs of feral chihuahua would suggest the coyotes are not doing their job. I like chihuahua , the are more aerodynamic than cats when you need to throw them for a distraction.
Heck, at least chihuahuas can nibble your ankles. Boston has been terrorized by turkeys for well over a decade.
-mutter, mumble… frickin’ new keyboard-
That URL would be http://www.boston.com/news/daily/07/turkey.htm
And yeah, old article, but they have new “attacks” every year. (In NH we just shoot and eat the damned things. But I guess that’s not so appetizing an option with chihuahuas.)
Alligator bait down here in the swamp. About the smallest dog seen in our area are Jack Russel’s. They are smart enough to stay away from the canals and lakes.
My Rot would make short work of one of those ‘Chi’s’ if it decided to.
I have a Rott, and have ‘inherited’ a Chihuahua. The rott got beat up by the neighbor’s lab. the chihuahua beat up the lab. he got loose, and tore on another neighbor’s lab. they supplied the wound care, and I fixed up their lab. She didn’t have regular peroxide, I had to use a half gallon hair care peroxide, I left it a tad strong. now the lab has blonde streaks where the wounds were! The cops got called by someone else, and the chihuahua was dancing and cute. She -the cop- came out the other day and giggled lightly at the striped lab. the blonde will be shed out in another month.