This is not how it’s done, Lady.

I went outside for a few minutes and came back to find a new Grand Proposal in my inbox…

Who does this? I know the blog is a sick-but-not-dead communication form and so if a would-be freelancing writer of ‘the psychic powers of cats’-type articles can’t get her schlock published in the big clickbait sites she might get the notion that trolling the internet’s answer to Flea Bottom is an…idea, and so could conceivably end up at TUAK. I get that. But have you heard of this thing called market research, lady? That means more than just “here’s a blog. Get the contact address and send a form letter.” Since she didn’t bother to learn the editor’s name (which is right there on the email address as well as the IRL, so not exactly hidden) she certainly wouldn’t consider it necessary to scan the blog to see if her content might possibly be in any way relevant or appropriate.

And I’m just saying, lady, that given the level of professionalism you have demonstrated this morning I fully understand why Buzzfeed might have rejected your “10 ways the earthworms in your yard are crying out for help” proposal. Just saying.

This is the most exciting thing that will happen to me today. God, I’m so bored.

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.
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8 Responses to This is not how it’s done, Lady.

  1. Kentucky says:

    You have an editor?


  2. Joel says:

    I had one. Poor guy died last June, and Laddie can’t spell any better than I can so not really anymore, no.

  3. jabrwok says:

    Do you have access to the homeowners’ bandwidth? If so, maybe you can pass the time streaming stuff, or binge-watching YouTube videos. Terrence Popp’s stuff is fun, and Primitive Technology is educational.

  4. Bear says:

    I think the advantage of goldfish is having fresh treats for the cats.

    Yeah, I get those occasionally. I just assume they’re phishing attempts.

  5. Anonymous says:

    are you within bike distance of a used book store? Used books stores keep me sane-ish and away from the evils of Amxxon. Who ever thought that books delivered to your door would be so addictive? Can’t think of any other benefits of the Huddle Masses.

  6. Zelda says:

    Primitive Technology and Village Life and a beer and snacks will help you get through the days. Or you could do a few remodeling projects to the house you are staying in. Just call the nearest big box DIY and have supplies delivered. Coffee shops nearby where you can sit and watch the locals? Invite the neighbors in for a breakfast of Spam and eggs, biscuits and coffee? There must be things that would amuse and entertain you.

  7. John Brooks says:

    Used book store is good idea. Beats internet porn. There are government provided buses (taxation is theft) on call to take you if handicapped so check that out. Some church groups like you even if you do not like them, just be nice and express gratitude. Deck of cards good as is book of puzzles like Sudoku. Library for books or borrow videos or CD movies (DVDs?- I am old). Internet music. In my military time I remember bored right up to SCREAMING HOLY CRAP INCOMING NON-BORING and how in my old age I wax nostalgic for bored. YMMV and Slightly Higher West of Rockies. And OK to tell me BFYTW.

  8. John says:

    Zelda offer:
    “Or you could do a few remodeling projects to the house you are staying in.”

    This could entertain…

To the stake with the heretic!