Every time the gun control thing heats up, we get inundated with new and exciting phrases that appear nowhere else in human discourse. You know what I mean. My evil “assault weapon” is a pale, stripped-down version of the perfectly reasonable “personal defense weapons” carried by bureaucratic security goons. Don’t get me started on “reasonable,” which means “whatever I want,” but only when spoken by gun grabbers. It’s related to “compromise,” which means “I take whatever I want from you, and you give it up quietly.”
“Gun violence” is somehow more reprehensible and horrifying than plain old-fashioned “violence,” and law enforcement officers never indulge in it. When LEOs commit violent acts with guns, that’s really “complying with department policy” and is perfectly reasonable no matter the body count.
The one that’s new to me, though, is the “national conversation on guns.” I was looking forward to that. I enjoy conversations about guns, which is fortunate because I associate with Ian, who rarely talks about anything else. So I could really get into a national conversation about guns. Can we finally be reasonable about the great burning issue of our time and just agree that the M14 is the greatest of all full-power battle rifles? I didn’t think so. Besides, now somebody’s making new-production FG42s, which does damage my thesis somewhat because damn, that’s a great rifle. I want one in .308.
(AHEM) Anyway, it turns out that’s not what the “reasonable” people mean by a “conversation.” No, it turns out “conversation” has a different definition entirely: It’s more like a synonym for “proclamation.” As in:
“We’re going to take away more of your gun rights. It’s for the children.”
To which we are permitted by law and custom to respond (conversationally if we choose) “Yes, sir. Thank you, sir, for protecting the children, sir.”
Perhaps the extended conversation will come when they tell us whether they want SWAT raids with that, or they’ll settle for compulsory buy-backs.
Personally, I like Ian’s gun conversations better. They’re more interesting, and less painful.