2,000 years later…
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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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So. You are getting a hard hat for your not-hard heat, right, preferably one that will also shade you from the glowing orb of pain, if not actually protect you from flying blocks of stone. Right?
If I have had to endure chainsaw chaps, long-sleeve shirts, a hard hat, ear coverings and eye protection in the middle of summer in steambath Florida, you should at least have a hard hat.
Maybe even a Pith Helmet? Give you an excuse to play with a Martini-Henry, eh, old boy?
“Not-hard Head” not “Not-hard heat.”
Sometimes I amaze myself by my stupidity.
I’m actually thinking pith helmet at the moment, though that’s a sentence I never expected to utter. Not full Roark’s Drift, but maybe one with a round brim.
Joel, you would rock a proper pith helmet! I usta wear one with a bandana neck protector while doing yard work. Practical and stylish.
Most farm stores sell plain ol’ straw “farmer hats” that are lightweight and have enough brim to keep your gourd/neck in the shade, mostly. You can tuck a bandanna under the band in the back if you want more protection.
If you want a really spiffy one, hit the Amish store.
Assuming the “hard” part is no longer in play.