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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Okay, see, this is why I hate cattle.
Tobie got very excited last night around eight. I was in the bedroom reading chair, the window was open, and I thought he was going to insist on sharing the chair with me to get his nose closer to the … Continue reading
I made a logistical plan and it actually worked!
I had this one propane bottle with an iffy valve. Wasn’t leaking, but the bleedoff screw was nearly impossible to move and sometimes the propane guy gets touchy about that. Also sometimes the bottle doesn’t want to fill with it … Continue reading
Trying to save a favorite knife…
It’s nothing fancy, just a Victorinox kitchen knife I could probably replace from Amazon with ease. But it was a gift from a now deceased friend just before I moved into the boonies and I’ve used it several times a … Continue reading
Sorry about that…
Once again just not a lot going on here at the Secret Lair. And not for lack of trying! Spring has sprung… …but of course in April that’s only sporadically a good thing. Temperature’s all over the place and the … Continue reading
I wonder if this is Peak Redneck?
So several years ago I made a couple of signs for the spot where the “road” officially becomes a driveway. I was quite proud of them. They looked nice when new. And yes, I was aware of the inherent problem … Continue reading
Tired of waiting now…
See, this is why I’m not a huge fan of lots of thermal mass in home construction… We’re in the middle of an unseasonably warm spell here at the Gulch. Started yesterday, peaked today, supposed to be gone by Friday. … Continue reading
Spring!
In another week the flowering trees in town will all be doing their thing. The pear tree is certainly getting ready. Spent part of the morning before the Monday morning water run cleaning out the woodstove*. I’m not quite confident … Continue reading
Spring is (provisionally) here.
Wash’t here a few days ago. May not be here a few days from now. But today and through the weekend it’s supposed to be nice. And by nice… …I mean not only mild in temperature but also in wind. … Continue reading
Repurposing an old holster – again…
A blustery early-April day here at the Gulch… I dressed far too thinly for the morning walkie, the wind at the top of the ridge had me shivering halfway through. So I started looking for indoor activities. Perusing Gunbloggers, I … Continue reading
The video is funny. The collaboration is hilarious.
Did the Icelandic Norse use firearms long before the rest of medieval Europe? Evidence says … yes? Spoiler alert: All known historical fact (and common sense) says “No. Don’t be silly.” Ian presents the possibility in all straight-faced seriousness, and … Continue reading
Increasing the temperature inside Ian’s Cave…
Ian’s Cave is a concrete dome, 12 feet high and however many feet it is long, covered in nobody knows how many tons of sand but it’s a lot. You wanna talk thermal mass? You can’t handle the thermal mass. … Continue reading
Pushing seventy!
Yes I am, and so is the outside temperature for the first time all year. So – I did something I haven’t done in YEARS… I went to a gun show. Okay, full disclosure: There are two reasons I haven’t … Continue reading
Catching up on my memes addiction…
You probably need to have actually been a mechanic to get the full effect of this one. And I was, and did…
Okay, is there some “21st Century” refresher course I can take?
“Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? Don’t you turn on the hotspot in your phone to connect to your laptop? Do it that way and you shouldn’t need a cable.” …said Ben in a comment on the post … Continue reading
“Well, the good news is I get to come back.”
BEAUTIFUL day! Temp well into the the sixties: Should have predicted the wind that came up after lunch and come to town in the morning, but so be it. I wanted to do this “software update” that has kept me … Continue reading
Ok, this is more like it.
Temp’s in the mid-thirties at mid-morning, no clouds, no wind (yet). Nice day. Uncle Joel is happy. Not riding-the-bike-to-town happy, but fingers and toes that don’t hurt isn’t too much to ask. Let’s get some stuff done. Good day for … Continue reading
Welcome to Rovaniemi, Arizona…
You know what I hate? I hate when a mild winter waits till March to make up for lost time. 😠 Less than two weeks ago I was on my bike. Now the bucket trap is freezing again.
“Wow, that stings.”
One hundred eight dollars and change. I half expected the price of propane to have dropped a bit since last time: instead it went up. Good thing I got gasoline last week, though, because the crappy little town nearest to … Continue reading
How to make the rain fall…
Or the snow. Whatever. How to ensure precipitation. Yesterday I wanted to wash laundry but the forecast kept saying it was going to rain. Every time I looked out the window it was partly sunny and mild but never mind, … Continue reading
Got a couple of nice gifts for the bike…
I don’t think that title quite works grammatically. What I meant to say is that someone sent me a couple of nice gifts to be used on the bike. These weird-looking panniers, which stick up in the back high enough … Continue reading









































