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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Poor little thing…
Also, I really need a better chimney cap. I just had my first indoor bird of the year, and it narrowly avoided being burned to death since it apparently escaped the woodstove between my opening the stove door and going … Continue reading
Haven’t needed to do that chore since I left Michigan!
…and I left Michigan like 23 years ago. So overnight the sky cleared and it got good and cold, like mid-teens, which meant that the mud froze and I could go for a nice walkie. For the first time in … Continue reading
What a sloppy day…
I had to go to D&L’s this afternoon to take care of horses and dogs. Slip/sliding the whole way. The horses are staying in the barn, because… …they’re not idiots. This was one of the few days this winter where … Continue reading
Saw a funny on Babylon Bee this morning…
It would be funnier without the knowledge of how many people really are without power in freakishly cold weather… I heard about this yesterday evening from a friend on a private chat forum*: We’re on rotating blackouts, about 2.5 hours … Continue reading
Sigh. It begins.
Just got back from the Monday morning water run. Sideways, mostly. The bad news is that there’s still lots of snow to melt. The good news is we’re due for a great walloping windstorm this afternoon, which usually helps with … Continue reading
“One to three inches,” forsooth!
“One to three inches overnight,” the weatherman said. “No problem,” said I. The weather has been quite mild since the last storm. Enough to spoil you, but if you have any sense at all not enough to suggest that maybe … Continue reading
Anti-Littering Joel and Parsimonious Joel have bad days…
Still feeling pretty good. My shoulder isn’t even mildly sore to the touch and I had no relapses yesterday, so it looks as though the Angel of Moderna passed me over. This time. That, coupled with the knowledge that our … Continue reading
Moderna Vaccine, first jab: Not dead yet…
Just a progress report on one old guy’s experience with the first jab of the Moderna vaccine. I got it Tuesday just before noon with no immediate side effects. They told me up front the shoulder muscle they had injected … Continue reading
The Jeep’s doing it to me again…
I’ve been smelling antifreeze for a couple of days. One of those things I keep meaning to come out and look at later, you know, and then completely forget about it until next time I detect the scent. This time … Continue reading
Ow.
So yesterday I got the Covid jab. As I said a week ago, I didn’t impose on a neighbor to help me make a special trip to town, sit in a joyless room for half an hour waiting my turn … Continue reading
Hypercautious Chicken
So I decided to try something different today… The Leghorns are all done with their protracted moult but we’re having, er, performance issues. I’ve spoken to them several times now about their overall objective of providing food for humans, and … Continue reading
Knife Sharpening: Sometimes overcomplicated works.
I have carried a secret shame throughout my life – I never was very good at sharpening knives. Couldn’t tell you how many stones and gizmos I went through in my youth, hoping to cut through (heh) a basic lack … Continue reading
Speaking of predator tracks…
Bobcat. Very common, though again seldom seen when you’re on foot. No danger to humans – probably even very small humans – but a good reason not to free-range your chickens. They sometimes display housecat-like curiosity… 🙂
In the Spring an old man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of bicycles.
It’s a pretty mid-winter day in the high desert. Mid-forties, a little windy for comfort but the second straight day of bright sun. And I’m sick of winter. And when I’m sick of winter I think of getting my bike … Continue reading
And that’s why I carry a gun…
Beautiful morning for a nice long walkie. And I was trudging along, minding my own business, when I came upon some tracks that gave me pause… That’s either a wolf or the biggest dog I’ve seen since Little Bear died. … Continue reading
Random Gulchy Moments
Last week we got a triple whammy from that storm that crossed the continent… …but by the time it started making the news in places that newsreaders are aware of the sky here had cleared and the temperature suddenly became … Continue reading
Die, die, you messy little nuisances.
What a beautiful morning! It follows a probably miserable evening, where there was high wind and rain → freezing rain → snow, so that the leading edge of every surface looks like this… I had intended to drive to morning … Continue reading
Freakishly warm this morning…
Mid-forties overnight in late January? That ain’t right. And it almost moots half of this morning’s recurring chore… …which was supposed to be breaking up and cleaning out ice from D&L’s horse waterers. They both had doctor appointments and aren’t … Continue reading
We’re supposed to get some sun today, so that’s good…
The storm has passed. They got more snow in town than we did in the hills, and during yesterday’s morning water run it was funny to watch equipment operators doing donuts in front-end loaders, struggling with an unfamiliar task a … Continue reading









































