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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Spammers: Take a lesson from this.
Bloggers: Are you tired of unimaginative, ineffective, cookie-cutter spam ads in your inbox? Do you wish somebody would at least look at your damned blog before gracing you with an incoherent block of cut/n/pasted text half-assedly trying to sell you … Continue reading
Moving on. Again.
Boy, I’ve spent five days in a bad place. Felt nearly normal on Saturday then had a maudlin Sunday and yesterday went into a banging rage over nothing. I was absolutely not ready for human company and no fun at … Continue reading
Okay, let’s talk about this…
First of all, thank you very much for all the comments. I do appreciate it. For the record I know perfectly well that I did the right thing and what I blame myself for is making him suffer through six … Continue reading
Only another ugly memory
It’s been well over twelve hours and I’m still having trouble processing last night. I’m going to write this now before the tequila I’ve lately been drinking starts processing brain cells. Rather than come up with a long original explanation … Continue reading
Relax, dammit!
Though it might not break 100 today, we’re still sweating here at the Secret Lair. Torso Boy is not doing well. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a dog go from apparently perfectly healthy to death’s door so quickly in … Continue reading
In other news…
This is … fabulous. I’d say this will make Stephen Stills kill himself just so he can roll in his grave – except I’m told that’s him playing the guitar so what the hell do I know. I’m also told … Continue reading
I had a chapter three but it doesn’t seem important now.
I had my whole tale of woe outlined before I wrote the first word but the ending was weak and has been overcome by other matters already mentioned. Naturally the bad news was immediately followed by the hottest heat wave … Continue reading
Addendum to the cancer post below…
The preceding is NOT repeat NOT a bleg. Torso Boy is a cool little guy and if he were two years old rather than pushing ten I’d probably do it. There’s actually a way for poor people to go into … Continue reading
Canine Lymphosarcoma
Can you believe this? I just got back from the vet in the big town about 50 miles away, thanks very much to those who contributed to make that financially possible. And the news is that Torso Boy has cancer, … Continue reading
Interlude: How we’re even having this conversation
After the beginning of August, thanks to contributors, I had the cash I needed to get a Tracfone going. I needed that for local communications while the iPhone went to the city for repair. Virtually all my remaining ready cash … Continue reading
Joel’s Tale of Woe: Pt. 2
Having finished my chicken chores with what amounted to a broken shoulder, I decided Uncle Joel had earned a beer. I went to Ian’ place, where resides the refrigerator that dispenses a limited supply of cold beer. And as I … Continue reading
Okay, so more like two weeks.
No, I still don’t have the iPhone back. I’ll tell you about that in its own time. Given the carnival of errors and misfortune that ensued as soon as I went offline I’ve begun to think the blog was a … Continue reading
TUAK going dark for a while.
A month, maybe six weeks. This is due to technical difficulties, not personal – although I do admit I’m pulling the plug a week or so before I absolutely have to, so maybe kind of personal. The vast TUAK online … Continue reading
Here’s a study I’d believe, and this one is fiction…
Study Finds Most People Just Wearing Masks To Avoid Sea Of Judgmental Glares “Honestly, I couldn’t care less about the ‘rona, but I just want to get in and out and pick up a few groceries without getting glared at … Continue reading
And this is why I don’t let TB herd cattle willy-nilly…
I doubt this fella, who wandered into the yard yesterday evening, would be impressed. They’re rarely all that impressed with me, even when I’m shooting into the ground and waving a spear around like a demented shaman. Don’t like being … Continue reading
Should probably stick to medicine…
In fairness he doesn’t like people catching things…
Sight/bore offset is a thing, Joel…
All I wanted to do was check my rifle’s zero at 100 yards. No big deal. Went prone, used the magazine as a monopod, bounced a couple of bullets off the big central plate… Then I fired at one of … Continue reading
Well, the targets are hardened…
Not so much the target stands… Oops…
All day, all night, Silly Man…
Down by the dry wash, sifting sand… Even little kids laugh at Silly Man… Down by the dry wash, sifting sand. While shooting this morning I was suddenly reminded that Ian had left almost 1000 9mm cases in the sand … Continue reading









































