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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
I was worried there for a while…
I had exactly fifteen rounds of my favorite commercial .44 Special in my possession. That’s five in the gun and ten in speed loaders. It was looking bad for our heroes. Oh, I could still reload – except that early … Continue reading
Almost time. Getting the itch.
For three years now, this has been part of the Spring ritual… Drag the ebike into the light. Air up the tires and top off the battery. This has been a very mild winter, and there have been a few … Continue reading
Joel Bloviates about Stuff
Last November marked 15 years of fulltime Gulch living for me, 10 years since the Lair became … not complete, gods know, but habitable. It’s always good to reflect on how you’re doing, what could be improved, what needs to … Continue reading
Unsolicited swag arrives at the Lair…
For a long time the Jeep has needed repairs that I continually ignored out of a belief that the transmission was soon going to completely fail (it did) and then the Jeep would become a permanently-parked blight on the landscape … Continue reading
“Most of you may die in nuclear fire, but that’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
Judging by recent experiences friends have had with building contractors, these people are years too late. “Phone Hasn’t Stopped Ringing” – The World’s Ultra Rich Are Panic Buying Doomsday Bunkers The “ultra rich” in the title is probably very wrong: … Continue reading
Have yourself a senior moment there, old man?
It’s been very mild for early March, which is normally extremely changeable in the high desert. Sometimes I’ve even been briefly opening some windows that don’t directly face the heavy late winter/spring wind. Kind of important to remember to close … Continue reading
Distilling my own battery water…
…is not something I really thought I was going to have to do. But for some reason, though bottled tapwater is easily available under a large variety of labels… …there is a widespread shortage of distilled water. I genuinely did … Continue reading
The great circle of brass…
…has been pretty pitiful this winter. During the mid-day walkie I dumped yesterday’s empty brass into the tumbler and turned it on. Came back two hours later to find… …that everything in the tumbler didn’t make much of a pile. … Continue reading
Shoulda seen that coming…
After sitting unused for more than 3 months, a battery that should have had another year or so in it let me down this morning… …and annoying as that is, the timing couldn’t have been better. I no sooner got … Continue reading
Clearly I need to get back to practicing…
A Generous Reader who asked not to be identified sent me a big bag of home-cast .44 boolits for free. I promised a review, and here it is. I weighed about 40 of them at random and they are quite … Continue reading
Tobie’s got his Jeep back…
To my surprise, the followup trip to the shop on Tuesday does seem to have improved the Jeep’s situation. I admit that a) I didn’t even know it had an adjustable TV cable, and b) I still don’t understand why … Continue reading
Hopefully this will fix it…
I was barely home with the Jeep last week when it was clear that things weren’t right. This came as no surprise. Everything was well enough except the transmission kept randomly going out of gear under acceleration, especially up steep … Continue reading
Me so bakey
Okay, the breadsticks didn’t work out so well – especially after a couple of days in the bag. This morning I looked at some little boxes of raisins BB sent me last month, then went to my copy of Joy … Continue reading
Countries with a sense of humor…
…about their borders are relatively rare in the modern world. Yet there are plenty of places where borders are clear on maps but vague on the ground because there’s really nothing there to defend. Example: I know I’ve been in … Continue reading
Goats in the Powershed
I share chicken chores with another neighbor, as we share expenses and eggs. Today was my day. I went over there with Tobie in the Jeep, went into the powershed to swap waterers… …or I should say I tried to. … Continue reading
Biggest snowfall yet
Not by any means a huge snowfall – hell, we got 10″ almost exactly a year ago – but it’s by far the biggest of this so-far very dry winter. View from the porch… Oh, bother. If the forecast is … Continue reading
How’s this for synchronicity?
Several weeks ago I inventoried my pistol ammo and began to fret. 44 Special is not an especially popular cartridge anymore* and for the past two years it has been unobtainium. My favorite flavor, CCI “flying ashtray” Blazers, was depleted … Continue reading
An unexpected homecoming!
Boy, I really could have used this over the weekend: Neighbor D’s Jeep doesn’t have a trailer hitch and I had to borrow S&L’s pickup to move a bunch of stuff for some other neighbors. But I’ll take what I … Continue reading
Care packages! “Why does that redneck need all those bullets” edition
Gelsocks are always welcome at the old one-legged guy’s Lair… Somebody hit my Amazon wishlist. If you know what this is for, you might have a woodstove. My old stovepipe brush is ten years old and I have learned that … Continue reading









































