The Ultimate Answer to Kings

Haiti actually is a shithole. Always has been. It was pretty much designed to be, as far as I can tell. I wasn’t aware that was a secret.

I heard the biggest groaner of my life on the Jeep radio this morning, during chicken chores. Some congressvermin* said something like, “You can’t say ‘chain migration,’ that’s racist. African-americans believe they migrated here in chains.”

“Chain migration” seems to be among the recent conservative worship words – along with “replacement population” – used for beating their base into a state of fear over vicious hordes of brown people pouring across the border with their mariachis and their margaritas and their mid-day naps, sucking up all the welfare money and shipping it to Columbia via Payday Loan money orders. It’s stupid, but I’m pretty sure it’s not there to trigger racial memories. I’d like to think black people wise enough to know opportunistic rhetoric when they hear it, but then I also recall a huge shitstorm in California over a republican apparatchik using the word niggardly in a budget meeting, so…
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*Just looked it up, it was Dick Durbin and there’s video. The part about “chain migration” is at the 1:40 mark. He sounds quite proud of himself for being so very much more virtuous than Trump.

…so I won’t say anything, except that I roared. 😀

Due to overwhelming (okay, one) demand, here is the definitive Joel’s Bread Recipe. This recipe went through a lot of changes at first while I was learning, but has gotten to be pretty stable over the past few years and always works out quite well. This post is photo-intensive, and so begins below the fold. Continue reading →

Overnight I got six frames of the least spooky coyote I’ve seen so far at the watering station… Continue reading →

Would you like a house that fills your bathtub – at the precisely correct temperature – when you just tell it to? Warms your toilet seat to your preference as well? You can have it! And all it will cost you is a shit-ton of money and all the privacy you’ll ever have, ever again.

Kohler launches Kohler Konnect smart home range of iPhone-configurable bathroom and kitchen fixtures

A key aspect is the inclusion of voice control, allowing for the user to operate a kitchen faucet or intelligent toilet, change the lighting in a bathroom mirror, run a shower, or automatically fill a bath to a specified depth and temperature, all through vocal commands.

While the system runs on Microsoft’s Azure cloud platform, and has a greater focus on using Amazon’s Alexa for automation and commands, a number of items from within the range are also able to support Apple’s HomeKit, along with the Google Assistant. In theory, this means that some of the announced items could be automated in HomeKit scenes, or for features to be remotely triggered by Siri commands.

The main featured item in Kohler’s new product range is the Verdera Voice Lighted Mirror, which is claimed to be an industry first with Amazon’s Alexa built into the unit. Containing dual microphones and hermetically sealed stereo speakers, the mirror offers LED lights for illuminating the user, a motion-activated wayfinding nightlight, and the ability to access thousands of Alexa skills.

That could never possibly go badly.

In Hal 9000’s defense, it only tried to murder all the humans under its care. It never did anything really sinister, like report your every word, action and bowel movement to Microsoft, Apple, Google and whatever federal agency they’re feeling friendly with today.

But carry on, America. I’m sure Total Robot Surveillance will go much better than all the other sorts have.

The first rainfall of any substance since Monsoon, and only the second …well, since Monsoon. Which ended sometime in September. Early September. Far too warm for snow, it hasn’t been cold in a month…

…in fact I was thinking this might be the freakiest January since … last January, which was so warm I actually complained. But that’s why I keep records, and average morning temps were far higher this time last year. We’ve only had one half-decent cold snap so far this winter, and it was a month ago and snapped all my pipes. So actually on reflection that was enough.

Anyway, as I said we had a lot of rain overnight, I woke up determined to track down the source of that unfamiliar rushing sound, and then when I determined what it was I relaxed only to be struck by a sudden misgiving…

…wow, I really should have closed up the Jeep if it was going to rain…

Two million pageviews, baby. Yay me.

Hey, I take my entertainment where I find it.

ETA: And it only took nine years. 🙂

GOVERNMENT: About 50,000 pistol permit holders haven’t recertified in Niagara-Erie.

Jastrzemski said the state has mostly failed to to make permit holders aware of the re-certification deadline. Between 2013 and January 2017, he said, only about 4,000 permit holders re-certified in Niagara County.

A New York State Police spokesperson said that last January, the agency sent 372,388 letters to permit holders and utilized social media, press release and a video service at the Department of Motor Vehicles to raise awareness. NYSP could not provide the total number of permit holders across the state.

And, so far those efforts have proved inadequate in western New York, as most pistol owners in the county have yet to re-certify.

“They had five years to implement what needed to be done and how it needed to be done, and they’ve done a terrible job of getting the word out,” Jastrzemski said. “If we, as county clerks, didn’t start reaching out, it would be way worse.”
…
“When they got their permits, years ago, they were told their permits were for life, and now they have to recertify,” Ortt said. “And they were given no paperwork, no notice. In fact, some of them were learning about it when the county clerk was telling them about it at these town halls.”

The NY SAFE Act: Turning law-abiding New Yorkers into angry scofflaws one gun owner at a time since 2013.

A small hawk with other small birds in the frame. I think those are black-throated sparrows, and I think – but not really sure – that’s an immature red-tailed hawk.

Several frames of him and one doe. The only deer photographed in daylight so far.

Once the sun went down the water trough was a jumpin’ place all night. Two or three bucks I don’t think I’ve seen before, including this spike…

…and all manner of does. They disappear when the cattle are around – I stop seeing deer sign entirely during most of the year – but last night they left no question that a water hole is an actively social place. Many frames with multiple deer chasing one another around.

And still, so far no elk. Starting to wonder if they come here at all, but then I’ve also only seen one squirrel and I know they’re here.

How did the Government Accountability Office end up running an anti-gun entrapment scheme? Isn’t that ATF’s job?

Dem-ordered study to expose illegal online gun sales backfires

A Democrat-backed study meant to expose illicit online gun sales instead seemed to show the opposite — with hardly any sellers taking the bait when undercover investigators tried to set up dozens of illegal firearm transactions.

Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md., as well as Sens. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass., and Brian Schatz, D-Hawaii, had commissioned the Government Accountability Office report to look into how online private dealers might be selling guns to people not allowed to have them.

Their efforts were based on a 2016 report from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives (ATF), which claimed that “anonymity of the internet makes it an ideal means for prohibited individuals to obtain illegal firearms.”

Oh. Figures.

h/t

…why does it seem like so many animals are perfectly aware of it? Does it flash, or…

Seriously, the thing is actually quite well camouflaged at the moment. But the bucks frequently look right at it, and then last night I had these two come by…

…and the doe seemed to spot the camera, and then in the next two frames she and the fawn beat feet for Nebraska. Weird. When I bring it back to the Lair after a week or so, I’m gonna have to play with it in the dark and see what it does. I thought it was relying on infrared but maybe it’s flashing, I don’t know…

Also got a complete coyote last night. Also in a hurry to be elsewhere.

Yes, the deadly gun show loophole, favorite trope of gun-grabbers since I don’t remember when. According to the Legend of the Gun Show Loophole, any skeezy frood just out of slam and itching to pack heat could just stroll to the nearest corner gun show. There he would find veritable hordes of semi-sentient Limbaugh fans with missing teeth and dirty confederate flag t-shirts who would practically trample one another in their fever to press full-auto ghost gun saturday night special murder machines with hundred-round ammunition magazine clips and shoulder things that go up into his hands for purposes of rape, pillage and mayhem.

Yeah, gun shows are so seventies. This is the twenty-first century, and though we never got our flying cars we did get to watch gun-grabbers try to scrape some of the mold off that faithful old stereotype and update it for those hep cat millenials.

So then we had the “online loophole,” in which any skeezy frood just out of slam and itching to pack heat could just click on an Armslist ad and etc.

It was never necessary to prove that any “loophole” even existed in reality. In theory it was possible – hell, in theory any fender bender can erupt into gunfire if you “allow” “civilians” to carry concealed weapons, right? – and therefore it was a useful talking point.

Then somebody went and tried to ruin their fun by seeing if there really was any such thing as an online loophole…

Federal Investigators Couldn’t Illegally Buy Guns Through Legitimate Websites Despite 72 Attempts

Federal agents posing as criminals were unable to purchase any firearms from legitimate online marketplaces despite dozens of attempts over a two-year period.

Between July 2015 and November 2017 investigators from the Government Accountability Office (GAO), following up on a congressional request, tried to make the illegal private gun purchases through a number of online forums and market places. They made 72 attempts over that time but couldn’t complete a single sale using legitimate sites.

In 29 attempts the gun sellers refused the sale after being asked to illegally ship the gun to the buyer. Twenty-seven sellers refused after being told the potential buyer was a felon, domestic abuser, or otherwise prohibited from buying a firearm. Eleven sellers attempted to scam the investigators after finding out they were prohibited from buying firearms with two successfully obtaining money from investigators but never sending the promised firearm. Another five attempts to illegally purchase firearms were ended when the investigators’ accounts were shut down due to suspicious activity.

Apparently those gun show rednecks haven’t discovered online sales yet. Well.

But it’ll come. It just needs more time. Just like those gun battles over parking lot altercations we were promised if CC licenses were ever allowed to the unwashed – to say nothing of that horrid “constitutional carry,” my god – blood will run in the streets aaaaany day now. You watch.

Safe prediction: This will go down the memory hole as fast as possible, and will not change the rhetoric in any way. Yup – if they just keep pressing, some day they’ll get us back to the good old days…

You know, when somebody goes to the trouble of writing a book calling you an unstable moron, it’s possible that rushing out to act like an unstable moron won’t refute the charge.

Still not feeling totally well but at least I have enough energy not to drag whining through my chores. It rained overnight, the overcast caused global warming, which resulted in Al Gore becoming more rich and me not bothering even to light the fire in the cabin – it’s scraping the bottom of 60^o in here.

So I went right to work baking bread.




…which warms up the cabin nicely, since it wasn’t too cold to start with.

Clouds are clearing now, so I guess that’s all the rain for a while. Just enough to make a little mud. Figures.

Deer come to that watering station all through the dark hours, and apparently never in daylight. So far, for the two nights I’ve been watching, a family group has shown up right at dark and then there are pix at irregular intervals all night. It rained in the wee hours this morning – the first precip of any kind in months – and that didn’t seem to slow them down. I’d have to study antlers to see how many bucks, but one or more bucks show up frequently. Lots of does.

And then, a little after midnight, I got one frame of the east end of a west-bound coyote…

So they do come there – which is not exactly a shock but does at least confirm the assumption.

And if I stick with it, will teach me a lot more than I knew about what the game is up to.

Finally got some decent pix from the game camera…

During the day it was just a hundred pictures of common birds. For some reason I didn’t get a single bird pic yesterday. But as soon as it got dark…

This guy showed up, checked things out, and then apparently called his girlfriends.

Either they or other mulies showed up at intervals through the dark hours till about 4 AM. Surprising amount of deer movement during the night. Then this happened…

Of course you only see these guys at night, and not very often.

And then more deer.

So far no elk, which surprises me a little because I saw tracks and scat, and no hint of coyotes or other predators other than that owl, whose ancestors probably ate Zoe. But I’m going to leave the camera there for a while and see what else there is to see.

Though this quote will have me chuckling all morning long, even at someone else’s no doubt painful expense…

“From a scientific stand-point, there just isn’t enough research into the causes of nipple chippage beyond the fact that it’s colder than a whore’s heart in church,” Acharaya said.

Unless there are any nearby dogs or small children we can wantonly shoot, in which case I guess that’s our purpose.

Police officer’s shot misses dog, injures girl in home

The officer tried to shoot a dog that charged at him while in a home in the 1500 block of North Gentry, near 13th and Hillside, at around 6:15 p.m., Officer Paul Cruz said in a statement. The shot missed the dog, the round broke into fragments when it hit a hard floor, and a piece of fragment ricocheted and hit a 9-year-old girl in the forehead just above her right eye.

And for extra “Never call the cops expecting that to help matters” points, …

Officers were responding to a 911 call of a domestic dispute and suicidal person with a gun, and they were told a 33-year-old man in the home had held a gun in his mouth and choked a dog, the statement said.

But the dog was fine when the police arrived, so they took a shot at it just to, I dunno, make sure the dog was harmed or something.

The police officer who responded to a call for help by shooting an innocent child was immediately fired, then arrested and prosecuted for assault with a deadly weapon. Ha ha! Just kidding.

The officer who fired the shot was placed on administrative leave, following protocol, the statement said. The case will be reviewed by the District Attorney’s Office in addition to an internal review to determine if department policies were followed.

I think we can safely assume the department’s policies will cover this situation. Hell, they manage to cover grenades in baby cribs, I doubt they’ll have any problem with a jacket frag in a little girl’s forehead.

Saw an email from Big Brother this morning…

Iguanas are something you don’t remember from your Florida days, because they hadn’t happened yet. But thanks (probably) to some exotic pet owners who discharged their obligations by releasing their unwanted Iguanas into an environment where they don’t belong, south Florida is now infested with the things. Imagine up to 6′ long alligators that like to hang out in trees, and you get the idea. However, (like I said) they don’t belong here, and occasionally we have a few days of winter low temperatures that really causes them problems. Being cold blooded animals, they go into suspended animation and sometimes fall from their trees, apparently dead. Sometimes a bit of low comedy ensues when some homeowner disposes of a “dead” Iguana in a trash can. Even on a cold day, trashcans sitting in the sun can get quite warm, warm enough to revive a previously “dead” Iguana. Now imagine that you are the trash man!

Those Iguanas Falling From Trees in Florida? They Probably Aren’t Dead

You need to know weird things like this when you live in southern Florida. I imagine it’s something like living in Portland, only less silly and with more large reptiles.