Author Archives: Joel

About Joel

You shouldn't ask these questions of a paranoid recluse, you know.

You know the best thing about poverty?

The pleasure you get from moments of plenty. I’ve spoken before about my Scrooge McDuck moments. They’re really quite pleasant, in a possibly-sinful way. This morning I cleaned and prepped 200 .44 cases, which I can fill with primers, powder … Continue reading →

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A Blast of Childhood Fantasy

I grew up in a lot of places. Around when I was six, my suddenly enlarged and already very scary ‘family’ moved from Detroit to southern Florida*, where for a while we rented houses in the neighborhood of Palm Beach … Continue reading →

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Yeah. I laughed. I’m a bad person.

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“You got a real mess here, man.”

So that cattle outfit rigged up a big plastic tank to feed their stock waterer, right? And (apparently in lieu of a shut-off valve) they ran a pipe from the top of the tank to that old concrete cistern. And … Continue reading →

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He has a point.

Of course so do I, and mine is at the end of a long stout stick.

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Sunday morning idyll

Since lately I have enough ammo components for regular shooting, Sunday mornings have become the time when I try to make a definite point of going out to practice with my pistol. Ghost knows this routine… …and when I got … Continue reading →

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Hermitting conundra: The Concept of Weekends

Seriously, I’m a hermit. In theory I don’t do weekdays and weekends. Also in practice, since I had a paying gig yesterday and there’s another today, whereas I didn’t actually make a dime Monday through Friday. So weekends: Not really … Continue reading →

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Prediction: When Skynet becomes sentient and destroys humanity, it won’t be the DoD’s fault.

We’ll all die cursing Amazon. Is it sometimes inconvenient and/or annoying to await the arrival of a package at home, or have it sent to your place of work? Yes. Do you want a drone finding your location via smartphone … Continue reading →

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Not the easiest $20 I ever made…

It’s a crummy day here at Joel’s Gulch, overcast and cool and blow you on your ass windy, and the boys and I were resigned to just hanging around the Lair when the phone rang. Neighbor D asked “You want … Continue reading →

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QoD: “Undercutting your own argument in a single sentence fragment” edition

Just now on Fox News, playing in the background, a panel was discussing Geller [and] some pundit declared: Quote “I am a first amendment absolutist and there is no “but” after that, but….” Endquote

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We smell sausage!

A month or two ago when J&H lit out for parts more civilized, they ditched a bunch of frozen food I’ve been slowly making my way through, stashing it in Ian’s freezer. Today it’s a couple of spicy Italian sausage … Continue reading →

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A successful dog hunt!

Late this morning, right after laundry and as I was trying to get notes together for a new Backwoods Home article nobody asked me for, I got a call from Neighbor L. “Just so you know, D’s got his 30-30 … Continue reading →

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These are getting better and better.

Ian and Karl’s series of “Old West Vignettes” videos on their InRange channel is something I didn’t really expect to find all that interesting. Instead I’ve come to look forward to them. And the latest is the best yet. Though … Continue reading →

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Ah, California. The difference between my super-secret paramilitary organization and yours is…

…mine doesn’t have a website. But at least the page marked “Clandestine List” is password protected, so that’s something. What the hell am I talking about, you ask? I’m not sure myself. But it seems there’s this up and coming … Continue reading →

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Oh, poor babies. Izzums made uncomfortable by this?

(Prelude: Okay, I have a confession to make before taking this a bit farther. My IWB holster, an otherwise very nice Galco, has no positive retention. Since I only wear it when I go to a big town and start … Continue reading →

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Now that it’s in my head, I may actually have to scrape up the $40 for this.

Damn you, Weer’d! It’s called a Bug-A-Salt 2.0, and it’s a no-fooling fly-killing shotgun that’s safe for windows. The first generation didn’t sound very practical but according to Weer’d’s review of this new iteration… WOW! All the claims seemed correct. … Continue reading →

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Thank you but no thank you. Not today.

Heh – that Outdoor Life thing escalated somewhat today. I got an email saying they want to make a feature article out of their “My Favorite Gun” thing, which I gather they’re discontinuing due to lack of interest. And “Your … Continue reading →

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Get a load of this headline.

Event organizer offers no apology after thwarted attack in Texas Seriously? A couple of losers travel hundreds of miles to shoot up her event, are promptly whacked for their trouble, and your lead is that she ‘offers no apology?’ Wow. … Continue reading →

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I had to face the heartbreak, unemployment and all…

I saw it coming, but expected it to hold off longer. Officially as of this past weekend J&H are not coming back to the desert. I’ve been hired to finish packing up the house and get it ready for a … Continue reading →

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So I’m guessing his last words were “Libertatum Muribus!” Only in mouse.

I was doing some stuff in Landlady’s barn this morning when I came upon a very strange sight… Yes, that’s the south end of a very stationary mouse, the north end of which is firmly wedged between two electrical outlets. … Continue reading →

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