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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Scene: Two rural boomers trying to send a picture on a smartphone…
Good news: Neighbor L seems to have come through her surgery quite well. They’re shipping her right out of the hospital to a – well, ‘nursing home’ is excessively grim, some place where she can get therapy for a week … Continue reading
What’s the word for when you overestimate your capabilities?
Maybe I’m just thinking about hubris, but I think there’s a better term for this… Let’s just agree that there are places you shouldn’t take an ordinary road car. And that you can sometimes find one of those places without … Continue reading
Gulchin’ ain’t easy.
My neighbors D&L are … how shall I put this? … particular people. They like things the way they like things, and mostly the way they like things is labor-intensive. This is not a personality trait with which I fully … Continue reading
D&L’s troubles multiply, and the Jeep breaks again…
A few minutes before noon, just as I was getting ready to feed Tobie, I got a voice call from Neighbor D. Neighbor D just got back home last night from knee replacement surgery. While he’s healing, the plan was … Continue reading
Big changes in a little cabin…
…always mean playing Tetris with the furniture. Tobie’s bed fits very neatly between the woodstove and the bedroom doorway. That also happens to be exactly the space needed for the woodbox and a dog’s feeding station, plus that fabric bed … Continue reading
Care Packages! Oh, my god, so many care packages!
Landlady stopped by on the road north, and mentioned in a text that she had a “metric ton” of packages for me. She wasn’t exaggerating… Where to begin? You guys are making me work.
“I want to attend the Hello Kitty con but I also have to invade Poland before five, so…
“…clearly I’m forced to a very poor choice.”
Sounds kinda silly when you put it that way…
I can’t think of any other way to put it… For the dedicated desert hermit this is actually great. I used to kind of enjoy going to movies, and if watchable movies were still being made I’d really miss them. … Continue reading
Random gulchy moments
So yesterday after it warmed up a bit I went back to Ian’s for round 2 of the new game, Plug That Hole. And I think it went well… I’m gonna go back pretty quick to take the board away … Continue reading
I totally forgot about this…
At the height of Monsoon Ian’s place developed a big leak at a useless spigot he put in the retaining wall between the Dome and the powershed. I had to jackhammer a big hole in the wall to cork up … Continue reading
We’re living in the future.
… and it won’t work out well for everybody.
Rodents. I hate rodents.
Okay, so it’s definitely time to light the bedroom heater. Getting the pilot to light up is the only thing I dislike about this heater, getting the gas to the pilot flame is an endless PITA but otherwise it’s so … Continue reading
Two tons and counting…
D&L are sort of trading downtime back and forth. She’s getting her strength back from chemo, and now he’s scheduled for some delayed surgery that will put him on crutches for a while. But winter won’t wait, the bitch, and … Continue reading
I’m not ready for this. Seriously, just no.
I knew when Tobie and I went for first walkie in the dark that the weather was quite unpleasantly cold, damp and windy. And there were occasional … bits of something … flashing by in the lamp beam. It was … Continue reading
Hey, don’t laugh. By our standards this is a monster.
Look what the July floods brought us! Not quite sure how to unwrap it and bring it home, it’s a bit much for my chainsaw. No way this is juniper, I’m assuming it’s cottonwood since AFAIK that’s the only actual … Continue reading
When Tobie challenges the Jeep to a duel, it’s time to go home.
Okay, enough procrastination. Ian asked me to put a coat of stain on the exposed wood of his porch/sunshade/gazebo?-looking-thing, and I’ve been putting it off. Then when he actually paid me for having done so, I figured I should take … Continue reading
Okay, this is too perfectly cute…
Tobie and I had a busy afternoon, heading up to T&S’s mesa in the Jeep for the last time, assuming they make it home as scheduled. We got home a little after five, he got his food and his evening … Continue reading









































