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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Laddie the Amazing Torso Boy 2011-2020
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Meat pie!
Quite some time ago somebody, I think Big Brother, sent me a few packages of DIY pizza… …and as pizza, especially for a single guy old enough not to be able to inhale an entire pizza in an afternoon, it … Continue reading
I’m not a big Trump fan but I am a boomer and probably a rube…
So maybe I should bend a principle and vote Trump after all. If only to wipe that look off Don Lemon’s face… Somebody ought to tell these very smart people that this is not how you persuade others to your … Continue reading
Y’know, I don’t mind people disagreeing with me…
I don’t even always mind people disagreeing with me when they’re in a position to enforce their opinions with cops and courts, because I don’t know everything and I’m not really all that smart. But I do object to someone … Continue reading
Okay, Murphy! Uncle!
I literally don’t recall a prettier day than we had yesterday… Nary a cloud in the sky and shirtsleeve temps by noon. A day so nice I opened the windows for a few hours and aired out the cabin for … Continue reading
“Oh, for heaven’s sake!”
It wasn’t a surprise, I was actually a little surprised that it didn’t happen yesterday. Yesterday I filled two empty propane bottles which brought me up to entirely topped off – except for the one on the bedroom heater that … Continue reading
Put your back brace on, Joel, put your back brace on…
Got the text from D&L right on schedule, and while they wended their way through drying mud with a ton of wood pellets in their truck bed I came down through the wash and unlocked their gate. Before: Pellets are … Continue reading
Oh, it’s going to work this morning?
Last few days the cell signal has been extraordinarily bad down here in my hollow. I expected better yesterday because the weather cleared up so nicely but it was not to be. So I was mildly surprised to find a … Continue reading
This is the worst…
Seriously, I haven’t seen the mud this bad since maybe monsoon 2013. I genuinely didn’t think I would successfully get up Landlady’s driveway for morning chicken chores. It appears to have rained all night, which was not forecast so we’re … Continue reading
(annoyed grunt) More rain.
Rained all night, the forecast promises rain all day – and I do mean all day. I suppose if I were still counting blessings I’d accept the trade-off of very mild temperatures – it was almost 40o when I got … Continue reading
“Media Offers Thoughts And Prayers That Someone Would Start Some Violence At Gun Rights Rally”
Heh… Reporters expressed their grief and condolences as the violence they hyped has so far failed to materialize. “Nobody has so much as fired a shot. This is an unbelievable tragedy,” said one teary-eyed MSNBC reporter, clearly caught up in … Continue reading
Rain and pain and then D had another ministroke…
Thursday’s rain was predicted but it wasn’t predicted to go on all day and night. It wasn’t even cold but I lit the morning fire just to dry out the interior. I planned on just hanging around the Lair and … Continue reading
To anyone who’s tried to email me lately…
I’m having email trouble again, and have had for a couple of weeks now. I can’t get any incoming, apparently everyone who tries to send mail gets a bounce telling them that my inbox is full. You know me and … Continue reading
I hate mud. Oh, how I hate mud…
Okay, so here’s the situation… Torso Boy, like any old man*, is a creature of habit. He has designated one spot in the whole world in which a Corgi may take a dump, and he abides by that decision with … Continue reading
Topping off the water…
Or maybe making the best of a bad situation, I dunno. A few years back the float switch in the water tank failed, and characteristically it was quite a while before I noticed. During that time the tank overflowed any … Continue reading
That’s a big dog, if it’s a dog…
Beautiful day. Truly glorious, could hardly be better. I took a nice long morning walky, starting out with a light overshirt that ended up knotted around my waist – first shirtsleeves day in maybe two months, very unusual for January. … Continue reading
Is it possible to care less than nothing about something the newsies are all worked up about?
I…guess I can understand why this would be a big deal in the UK. But why the hell is every American news site covering it blow by blow? I’m pretty sure it’s not possible to care less about these two … Continue reading
Yeah, we definitely got cattle now…
Excuse the shot; by the time you dig out the phone, light it up, punch in the PIN, select for camera, the cattle – which have already spotted you and are running away – are just about out of sight… … Continue reading
Observe the snow. It fornicates. Pt. I dunno how many.
It’s been a wet winter so far and this was forecast, so I was dismayed but not surprised to wake to… Yesterday was overcast all day without a break so the batteries are already starting at a disadvantage… I don’t … Continue reading
This is why I like .44 Mag…
It’s Thursday morning and I just got a call from D&L confirming they’re going to the big(gish) town about 35 miles away for D’s regular doctor appointment. This means: A) I need to go feed their horses a little before … Continue reading
Hurt my back the other day…
Or should I say my back started hurting the other day, since it started as soon as I got out of bed day before yesterday and I didn’t do anything to deserve it. As usual I can stand or lie … Continue reading









































