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They say that Louis XIV had the inscription Ultima Ratio Regum cast into all the cannon of the French Army. It means “The Ultimate Argument of Kings,” and that always struck me as one of the most honest and up-front things any ruler or would-be ruler ever said. “We can dress it up prettier than this, but when it comes down to the unvarnished truth this is what it’s about: You’ll do as I say or I’ll send my goons to kill you.”
I thought about that for a long time. If there’s an ultimate argument, it seems only logical that there must be an ultimate answer. For years I thought the ultimate answer must be the bullets in my rifle, but it never seemed quite right. I’ve got bullets – he’s got frigging Cannon Balls. I mean, if there were three hundred million rifles throwing bullets at him, then maybe. But we all know that’s not going to happen. So if there’s an ultimate answer to his ultimate argument, it sure as hell ain’t bullets.
It finally came to me – and that’s when I abandoned the city and most of my stuff, and gave all that was behind me a good stiff Randian Shrug.
The ultimate answer to kings is not a bullet, but a belly laugh.
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Category Archives: Uncategorized
Random gulchy moments
On this morning’s Monday water run I thought I was gonna get a chance to be the big white knight and only ended up perplexing myself. There was a bit of a line at the water dispenser; ahead of us … Continue reading
This is not a problem I’ve ever had before…
Too hot! I always argue with myself over whether I ought to stoke the woodstove that one last time before sunup, when the wall thermometer says low sixties and it’s going to go up from there at least a little … Continue reading
So I can post again?
Yesterday’s solo post was supposed to only be a placeholder while I dealt with some photographs, but that’s not the way things worked out. In fact I could barely even post that screenshot, and I couldn’t download my photos from … Continue reading
I can almost admire such steadfast adherence to doctrine…
…in the face of the facts and of all logic. Almost. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing the wit, wisdom and social commentary of gun grabber extraordinaire – Shannon Watts! Please explore this reasoning with me: According to Ms. Watts, who has … Continue reading
Huh. Says here we’re all dead…
I don’t feel dead. But hey, maybe everybody else is. Maybe the coastal cities were deluged too quickly to report their own destruction? Report Hyped by Climate Alarmists Warned of Million of Deaths, Nuclear War, Sunken Major Cities by 2020 … Continue reading
Well that figures…
Look what I got yesterday! From a weekender neighbor I don’t even officially do work for! I just swing by his place from time to time to leave tracks (I have a theory that marks of recent activity keep curious … Continue reading
Storm passed…
Two days of off-and-on snow with lots of wind. We actually got some drifting, which hardly ever happens and which let TB demonstrate his technique for getting through snow higher than his legs are tall. A smaller dog would hop … Continue reading
Yeah, you’re right. This is ridiculous.
Ever since I built the Secret Lair the kitchen stove has operated on one small propane bottle. And it never fails… It simply never fails. The pressure never fails on a mild, dry winter morning. No. It invariably gets me … Continue reading
Good day to stay indoors…
Yesterday’s promised snowstorm delayed and delayed, and then never really amounted to much. It put down some wet snow in the late afternoon which later froze, and then maybe half a inch of powder on top of that. So… …take … Continue reading
Chore done – with an asterisk…
Not much more than an inch of snow fell early this morning, and it stopped around eight – exactly like the weather report predicted. The same report that predicts it’ll start back up soon and basically snow all day. No … Continue reading
I hate it when a forecast is right…
I know for a fact that there was no snow on the ground at 4 ayem, because Torso Boy and I went out for a pee at that time. Then when I crawled out of bed for serious an hour … Continue reading
Random gulchy moments – no Spam yesterday
I don’t celebrate Christmas or any holiday especially, and as far as I know neither does Torso Boy. But it was a cloudy, blustery day perfect for sitting inside where it’s warm, and I decided that holiday or no, it … Continue reading
Here’s a counterfeit Baby Yoda for you!
Only those who have actually raised a baby will completely – and I do mean completely – sympathize with the conclusion. There’s a shorter version but it misses the funny part at the end. I’m also a fan of Samuel … Continue reading
Merry Christmas!
TB and I are cocooning in the Lair and nothing much is going on, so in lieu of political filler things are currently a little quiet on the TUAK page. But just so you know I’m prepared to be inconsistent … Continue reading
Solstice!
I never used to pay the slightest attention to it – in fact for much of my adult life I couldn’t even have defined it with assurance, it was that insignificant. But off-grid, with improvised, scrounged, inadequate homemade housing and … Continue reading
When you can’t heat poultry waterers…
I don’t care what the calendar says, Winter Is Here. Which means one of the first essential daily chores of the Compleat Desert Hermit is to get liquid water to his chickens. And from now until sometime in late February … Continue reading
That moment when a boy realizes life as he knew it is over…
I genuinely sympathize.
Products that make you say, “Wha?”
Joel to the Past: I’m sorry I laughed at Murduck and said it was the most idiotic product ever packaged and sold in the western world. Okay – Murduck may have been the most annoying product in history, but he … Continue reading
Coldest night yet…
37o in the main cabin when I rolled out around 5:30, and it’s struggling to get above 60. Yesterday temp stayed below freezing all day and the sky was clear so you knew it would get good and cold overnight. … Continue reading









































